PARR method — The Habit Factor®

12 Common Goal-Setting Mistakes — The Dirty Dozen That Kill Your Goals!

Character, goal theory, goals, Habit Alignment

[By: Martin Grunburg]

Goal achievement is difficult. The “funny” thing is that we often make it far more difficult than it needs to be.

Goal achievement exists upon a spectrum of probability. There are NO guarantees.

Thus, your main objective – the main objective – is to increase the probability as much as possible.

Having said that, after 25-plus years of personal experience, here are “The Dirty Dozen” — the 12 most common goal-setting mistakes.

Enjoy!

1) Too Big/Too Many

Much like the Three Little Bears, there is the “right-size” goal as well as the “right-size” bed or right-temperature porridge. Not too hot or cold, big or small, etc. You get the picture!

The natural question is, how do know the “right” size goal? Well, the rule of thumb (at least for initial goals and newbies) just might be this: Set the goal just outside your reach — just outside the comfort zone.

That may sound cliché, but here’s an example: If you’ve never run a marathon, then a half-marathon is a better intermediary goal. If you’ve never reached $1,000,000 in sales, then aiming for $250,000 versus a target of $1,000,000 is much wiser.

2) You’re Focusing on a To-Do List instead of Core, Recurring Behaviors (Habits)

One of the reasons why The Habit Factor® exists and has its methodology copied worldwide is that rather than following SMART goals, which leaves one ®with a To-Do List — a list of next action “steps” — The Habit Factor® proposes you focus on the core, recurring behaviors — habits — that must be created.

For instance, if the goal is running a half-marathon, focusing more on developing the running habit (following the PARR Method) vs. a one-off to-do/task list is far more efficient and effective.

Which will get you closer to your goal? Focusing on developing the running habit or, buying a new pair of running shorts, a To-Do task item?

3) You’re Not Writing Down Your Goals!

There is tremendous power in the act of crystallizing — giving life to your ideas and goals by making them visible. Moving them from the invisible realm to the visible world.

4) You Don’t Revisit Your Goals Often Enough — Ideally, Daily!

Once they are written down, it’s important to keep your goals top of mind. To revisit them at least a couple of times a day. Tracking the core-related habits helps to ensure this happens! Revisiting your goal rekindles your vision, refuels your desire and collects your focus and concentration on the task at hand.

5) No Due Date? You Haven’t Set an End Date.

What’s your target end date for the goal’s accomplishment? Due dates create pressure and, contrary to popular opinion, pressure can be a very positive force.

6) The Due Date Is NOT Realistic!

There are two important considerations when it comes to the due date. The first is to take your due dates very seriously. The second is to not take them too seriously.

You want to be hell-bent on making it happen, short of hurting yourself or anyone else.

Yet you want to be flexible enough (much like NASA) to reset the due date/launch date if things don’t fall into place.

Most people beat themselves up. They think that a missed deadline is the end of the world and further, it’s proof that goal-setting doesn’t work.

The truth is, in even the best case people tend to reach their goals by the original deadline date approximately 50% of the time.

(And yes, that’s just an approximation)

The point is, that a missed deadline isn’t a reason to quit. It’s a reason to strengthen your resolve and reset, re-calibrate and reload!

7) More Focused on the Result Than the Process

Too many times to mention, we notice people who give up on their goal as though it is out there, somewhere.

It helps to think of the goal as hiding inside of you. Your job is to develop it and yourself until it is mature enough to reveal itself.

Similar to watching grass grow. From one day to the next, there is zero-perceptible growth to the eye. However, after 6 months or even a year, the growth is unmistakable!

Trust the process. That process is PARR and Habit Alignment.

8) Related to #7: The Daily Grind Overwhelms You!

We all get sidetracked, often.

A child gets ill. There’s a car accident. The dog is sick. Your spouse loses a job… LIFE Happens.

People then start to think, “No way is my goal gonna happen.”

Nobody escapes life’s setbacks. Having said that, these are often labeled “tests from the universe” to see how much the goal is desired.

With that in mind, life’s setbacks can be viewed as an opportunity to strengthen your resolve. To get back on track! >> Tracking sheet or app and TRACK!

Reset, reload and recalibrate! Just like #6!

9) You Don’t Anticipate Setbacks

By managing the easy, you anticipate the difficult. I believe that was Lao Tzu.

Nothing is “easier” to manage than tracking core, recurring behaviors — the important habits that will carry you toward your goal.

Having said that, you should know that setbacks will intensify the closer you get toward the goal’s attainment!

Here’s a quick, personal example. After arriving for the VineMan Ironman distance triathlon in Napa Valley, I realized that my bike’s back rim and pedal had been destroyed on the flight. Yay!

The local repair shop was adamant they could not fix it. They didn’t have the right parts and they could not offer me a loaner bike.

After six-plus months of training — with the race the next day — I was being forced to give up.

I refused to give up.

We (my wife and I) remained hopeful and resourceful. Although it did seem all hope was lost, we managed to find a workaround. NOT A FIX.

A workaround that made my bike barely manageable to ride. And, to my surprise, it worked well enough to get me through all 112 miles!

The truth was that since it was my third full Ironman distance race, I was mentally prepared for the setback. I asked often, “Alright, what’s the next setback going to be and when is it coming?”

10) You Talk Too Much (SHUT your pie-hole, pls)

Do NOT talk about your goals.

That’s right, read an in-depth article about the reasons why (recent post) you should shut your trap. Even “science” backs the idea that keeping your pie-hole shut is beneficial to your most important goals.

11) You’re Impatient

We want our goals! And, we want them now! Impatience “is the height of ignorance” according to Robert Greene, author of Mastery.

Goal achievement takes time and GRIT! BTW: If GRIT is the key to success, what is the key to GRIT!? What habits do you think constitute the development of GRIT?

12) You’re Not Committed

This c ould be #1! It is not enough to be interested in your goal; you must fully commit.

For a great story about the difference between commitment and being interested, check out my interview with John Assaraf!

Well, there you have it! The Dirty Dozen common goal-achievement mistakes. Which ones might you be guilty of?

~mg

2018 Recap: Highlights & Lessons Learned

energy, goals, Health, P.A.R.R. Methodology, PARR Methodology, performance, practicing

[By: Martin Grunburg]

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” ~Socrates

It’s time to perform a quick review of 2018 highlights and lessons learned!

I have selected only my top three (the first that came to mind). BTW: If you’d prefer, you can just listen right here.

Speaking of highlights, the Habits 2 Goals podcast just had its record month for downloads in December 2018!

Below you’ll notice that I’m following a specific process, one I learned from my 10 years’ of experience in EO (Entrepreneur’s Organization), and it goes like this: State the event/experience, then how it made you feel, followed by why it was/is important.

Highlight #1: Reduced Body Fat

I blogged about this experiment/experience here (in detail), including picture-proof of the dunk-tank reading. The short story is that for the first 47-ish years of my life it seemed I could eat whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. However that reality changed fairly quickly, and I found myself experimenting with some simple diet substitutions (new habits) and was able to reduce my body fat from 16.8% body fat to 13%.

How does it makes me feel?

Healthy, fit, strong.

“Health is the first wealth.” ~Emerson

I feel stronger and am running a bit faster and farther in my weekly runs. The idea that I was able to restore/return (in essence) my body composition (lean body mass and fat) to 2006 levels (at age 50) is very rewarding. Finally, I would even submit to you that doing it at 50 vs 35 is even more rewarding.

Why it’s important to me:

Beyond health, which really ought to be reason enough, I believe the real reward is the process and self-efficacy that comes with the achievement of this goal (article written in 2013). It’s also a tremendous affirmation and reminder that DISCIPLINE itself is a HABIT.

Furthermore, the experience is significant because: 1) Using the “substitution solution” and PARR, I’ve developed many supportive habits (aligned with my goal) allowing me with minimal effort to maintain the same composition/weight 9 months later. 2) This affirms the PARR methodology (for positive habit development) and much of the teaching and preaching I’ve been doing since The Habit Factor’s release (book) in 2010 and app in 2008!

More background on PARR (article) and video (HabitStrength™).

Highlight #2: Slacklining

Eva-Slacklining Lessons learned — Mitch (owner of line/rig) teaching my daughter, who’s trying for the first time to walk the line.

This may be the most bizarre highlight of the year…if not my life.

Chances are good that the vast majority of readers have no idea what slacklining is (see above picture). In short, walking across (approx. 50 feet or more) a two-inch-wide line. By the way, in many ways, once again, this isn’t so much about the specific skill or habit (in this case slacklining) as it is about the lessons learned.

How does it make me feel?

Healthy. Perhaps a bit younger and very, very sore ; )

I must have fallen a thousand times (since I began to learn in late June 2018), and in the very beginning just walking four or five steps without any assistance was near impossible.

Why it’s important to me:

First of all, when I started at the end of June I could barely walk four steps on the two-inch-wide line. However, there is some strange correlation for me between difficulty and addiction level. Today, I’m able to perform a few basic tricks on the line, including bouncing up to my feet from my butt, jumping on the line, turning around and walking backwards.

Furthermore, it’s been a great reminder to me that life is an experiment and to continue to push myself to try new “things” (skills and experiences) and grow!

Slacklining has been a fantastic study in the close association between skill and habit development, which means: 1) people need to regard HABIT development much the same as skill development and 2) once again, The Habit Factor’s method for habit development, PARR — Plan, Act, Record and Reassess — works for BOTH habit and skill!

Sidenote: An additional benefit is the impact on my surfing.

Early on I thought my surfing was going to make slacklining easier. Unfortunately, that was NOT the case. In contrast, it turns out, slacklining has given me significantly improved balance that has benefited my surfing!

Sidenote II: There appears to be a significant association between balance disorders and a handful of degenerative disease. Therefore, at least in theory anyway, reinforcing balance and equilibrium (training) MAY be helpful in ongoing wellness and health.

Above all, the theme of balance and equilibrium is reinforced often in the blog, the podcast and my books The Habit Factor and The Pressure Paradox.

The Butt Bounce

Walkin’ the line (and back)

Highlight #3: Skydiving

As part of a team-building company event, we decided we’d jump out of an airplane. I blogged about the experience in detail here.

How does it make me feel?

Stoked! Alive!

Why it’s important to me:

Unlike the other two highlights above, which took upwards of 6 months to cultivate (significant discipline, skill and habit development effort), the reward from jumping out of a plane was fairly immediate and the experience gratifying, as it was a great reminder how short life is.

Similarly, it also helped to affirm the importance of truly LIVING — trying new experiences, learning new things, etc. Finally, it helped to underscore the idea that no one ultimately cheats death, we can only cheat life!

Other highlights of the year worth mentioning include:

Wife and I celebrated 20 years marriage
Summer family trip to Europe (Copenhagen Sweden/Malmo, Paris)
Oldest daughter turned 18 (youngest is now 16!)
Meditation (blog)
Breathing workshop (will be writing and podcasting about this! Still experimenting ; )

***

There you have it! Hope you enjoyed the videos ; ) As you head into 2019, think of some ideas about how YOU can attack life as an experiment!

Here’s to a happy, healthy and prosperous 2019!

Best,

~mg

The ONE Question You Should Ask Yourself Every Morning (Practice, Part 2)

goals, HabitStregth™, P.A.R.R. Methodology, PARR Methodology, practicing

[By: Martin Grunburg]

Once we know what practice really is (see Part I), we understand how in many ways life itself can be regarded as one long, extended practice session.

Then we recognize that we’re actually practicing all the time — perhaps just not too well.

As an example, writing this blog post is a form of practice. My surf session earlier today was practicing, as was my meditation this morning.

Riding a bike is practice. So is kindness, breathing, religion, what you eat, what you watch on TV and with whom you associate.

Sowing the Seeds with Practice

Some people realize this more quickly than others, while some never realize it at all!

I’m not saying what takes place on a daily basis is necessarily always good practice, but make no mistake, it is practice.

Every moment we are sowing seeds with our energy.

Therefore, the question shifts from what is practice, to what is practicing comprised of?

What are its guts — its component parts? What makes some sessions worthwhile and high quality and other practice garbage?

In other words, IF there were a formula for PRACTICE, to improve its quality, what would it be?

To achieve high-quality practice you need _____?____ and ____?_____ Or, ____?______ and _______?______ and _______?____?

Typically the fewer elements, the better the formula! ; )

At first blush, the challenge with any such formula is realizing that the concept exists in both the mental and physical spheres. For instance, one can certainly practice their thinking (or should)!

So, for instance, to suggest that the formula is “Intention + ACTION,” unfortunately, doesn’t fit too well, since action doesn’t really exist in the realm of thought.

Enter EFFORT

Thus, any formula for practice ought to take into account both the MENTAL and PHYSICAL realms. We can practice and refine the quality of our thinking, and we can practice and refine the quality of our actions.

So, we end up with this working formula:

INTENTION + EFFORT = PRACTICE

The quality of your intention PLUS the quality of your effort equates to the quality of your practice.

Since “effort” includes mental and/or physical exertion — and, better still, tends to imply continued or repeated effort — this formula becomes a process.

For instance, on a scale of 1-5 (for the component parts), if my INTENTION to learn piano is a 2 and my EFFORT is a 1.5, according to this formula, the result — the output quality of my practice — would only be a 3.5 (very low). [Keep in mind since it’s intention PLUS effort the practice quality scale must go up to 10.]

So, if this formula (for purposes of discussion) were true, then the next question would be, what is the best process to refine one’s practice?

Enter P.A.R.R. (again): Plan, Act, Record and Reassess

As it turns out, the processes to produce quality practice — to elevate one’s practice — and to develop positive habits are the same!

PARR is what The Habit Factor has taught all along to create and improve one’s HabitStrength.

Plan = INTENTION; Act (in this case effort); Record = reaffirming the intention; Reassess allows one to assess both the results and make any adjustments necessary for better practice and results next time.

Ben Knew How to Practice

Now, with “ALL LIFE IS PRACTICE” as the backdrop in mind, let’s revisit our buddy Benjamin Franklin and his 13 Virtues (above).

Here is what Ben wrote in his autobiography:

“I hope, therefore, that my descendants (YOU!) will follow this example and reap the benefits.”

What is he talking about?

Specifically, he was referring to his process of practice. The process he used to develop and refine his CHARACTER. His practice, as he referred to it, to improve his character — to refine the habits that would formulate his virtues.

He didn’t call it PARR, but that is precisely what he did!

Ben Planned, Acted, Recorded and then Reassessed.

He kept a journal and each week he would isolate JUST ONE habit (a to-be virtue) and track it! So, for instance, it might be Order or Humility. Week after week he’d rotate through the list and concentrate upon a new virtue. Then each day he would take the time to notate and comment in his journal if he had an infraction (something he thought went against his INTENTION).

That’s right: Ben practiced and refined his actions and/or thoughts (with effort) to develop the habits that would yield the desired VIRTUES.

What were his results?

I’ll let him tell you. These are his words from his autobiography,

“On the whole, tho’ I never arrived at the Perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell short of it,” Ben wrote. “Yet as I was, by the Endeavor, a better and a happier Man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.” Then he goes on (again for emphasis!): “I hope, therefore, that my descendants will follow this example and reap the benefits.”

Time to start practicing! ; )

~mg

8 Must-Ask Questions To Accelerate Your Goal’s Achievement!

creative vision, creativity, energy, goal theory, goals

“Imagine Your Life Is Perfect In Every Respect; What Would It Look Like?”- Brian Tracy

By: Martin Grunburg

Last week we reviewed BT’s world-famous 12 Step process for goal attainment, derived from his classic audio program (Nightingale Conant) The Psychology of Achievement.

If you missed that, it’s worth revisiting if only to understand how it is that The Habit Factor® integrates so perfectly within and around his 12 steps — and, in so doing, reduces them to just 8!

Who doesn’t want a shorter process? ; )

Today our quest is to review the eight essential, MUST ASK, questions to help you accelerate your goal’s achievement!

Where is your Goals List?
If you don’t have a list, you are NOT really serious about your intentions, are you? Writing your top goals and reviewing this list is the first step!
Do you have a goal in each of these 4 categories of wellness: Mind, Body, Spiritual, Social?
You get bonus points if you add the following three ONLY after you’ve addressed EACH of the prior four: Professional, Financial, Lifestyle/Adventure.
Doing this helps to reinforce precisely what BT states above: You should imagine your life as perfect in every respect and then ask, “What does that look like?”
Do you know which SINGULAR GOAL is the #1 priority and why?
Speaking of “WHY,” identify and write down a list of 50 good reasons WHY the goal is your TOP priority and so important. (As many reasons as you can, no need to stop at 50!)
What positive habits/skills will you intentionally develop that directly support your goals? (This may be my favorite.)
Identify JUST 3-5 habits. Then specify their frequencies per week and their minimum success criteria. (If you don’t know what that means, watch this!)
How are you tracking these new behaviors/habits?
In order to develop these habits we’re going to follow the P.A.R.R. methodology: Plan, Act, Record and Reassess. We are going to be like BEN or a Hindu priest ; ). We (YOU) are going to TRACK!
Is your goal a S T R E T C H GOAL?
If your goal is too easy, it’s not likely to inspire you. But if it’s too difficult — seemingly impossible — it’ll be hard for your conscious mind to “buy-in.” As we reviewed in the last post, the idea of approximately 50% growth increments is a good rule of thumb. If you’ve never done a marathon, perhaps start with a half marathon. Or, rather than shooting for $1 million in income per year if you are currently making $50K, shoot for $75K or maybe $100K — but not $1M out of the gate. Get some progress, momentum and belief.
How committed are you?
Lincoln may have said it best: “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.”

So there you have it! Eight essential questions you should ask/address in order to accelerate your goal’s attainment! Revisit Brian Tracy’s quote above, which is how we started this post. This quote, to me, captures the essence of Thoreau’s fantastic insight; it’s worth YOU memorizing and reciting: “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to lead the life he imagines he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

Thank you!

Until next week,

~mg

BTW: If you’re struggling with your goals or you just want a little kick in the butt, some accountability and a proven, sure-fire process, jump on our 28 Day Breakthrough (Early Bird List!). It’s growing and I’m making special coupons, so it’s FREE! (limited time! ; )

Goal Achievement Series– Mindset Pro Tip #2: A.B.G. (Always Be Growing)

creativity, Focus, goal theory, goals, Habit Alignment, habits, HabitStregth™, P.A.R.R. Methodology, PARR Methodology, SMART Goals, Success

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT 101(1)

By: Martin Grunburg

Change is a funny thing. In fact, one of the great constants (by definition, something that never changes) is, in fact, change.

The great thing about goals is they allow us, in this crazy and uncertain world, to direct some of the change. By doing this, goals provide a sense of purpose, direction and, yep, you guessed it, “control.”

What I didn’t fully understand before is that a sense of control is linked to our general happiness. That’s right: The more we feel we have some sense of “control,” the better — and happier — we are likely to feel.

Simply by setting goals and taking action toward them, you will feel more in control, and that will make you feel better/happier about your life.

A Different Perspective on Goals?

Now, you may be somewhat confused if you’ve noticed some recent blog posts and even studies that suggest goal-setting can backfire, becoming self-defeating, disappointing, discouraging and even depressing.

It’s important to put these ideas into perspective and understand them a little better. The more I review and research them (a few links below), the more I notice some commonalities.

These studies tend to cite a goal-achievement process where the emphasis is on the goal itself, with little or no mention of the process that helps to ensure goal achievement — one that focuses on the core, recurring behaviors (habits) rather than the goal. Recall, The Habit Factor (as a goal-achievement method) proposed the idea of focusing on core, supportive habits rather than something like S.M.A.R.T. goals, and then developing these habits following the P.A.R.R. methodology.

If you check out this article specifically in Psychology Today, titled: “Why Goal Setting Doesn’t Work” (imagine that ; ), you’ll notice in the seventh paragraph the author writes, “inherent problem with goal setting is how the brain works…” She then goes on to say, “Therefore, any goals that require substantial behavioral change or thinking-pattern change will automatically be resisted.” Yep! The key phrase there is “behavior change.” Of course, this is precisely why The Habit Factor® Method has been so popular and effective; it focuses first and specifically on the behavior change itself (habit development) as a process to achieve the goal.

It’s important to set goals and then concentrate our efforts and focus on the behavior change itself — the new habits that will carry us to our BIG goal. In fact, this is precisely why YOU can take The Habit Factor Method to the bank! Other methodologies such as SMART goals entirely miss the concept of habit development to achieve goals.

The other issue brought up when it comes to goal achievement is the “right mindset.” Do you have a “fixed” or a “growth” mindset as you pursue your goal? There is more on exactly what all that means in great detail here, PDF, but one of the key ideas/mindsets for a goal achiever is the idea that they are always growing! Therefore — think about this — technically they never arrive. Now, I recognize that may sound awfully discouraging, but with the Growth Mindset (taking action and getting better every day), the flip side is you are always arriving, every day. ; )

Finally, it’s worth noting that the majority of these papers and studies, such as Harvard’s “Goals Gone Wild,” analyze organizational goals vs. individual, personal goals. And, of course, with organizational goals there are a host of other variables (including the goal itself) that are out of our control (remember control’s link to happiness).

To sum this all up:

1) Always Be Growing
2) Set those personal goals to direct change where and when you can
3) Focus on the process, crafting supportive behaviors — habits — that will help you to achieve your goal!

Key questions to ask yourself:

Do you have a big goal set in three, six or even 12 months?

Have you taken action toward your BIG goal today?

Are you focused on the process — the habits — or the outcome?

What is the process you are using? Does it involve development of the essential habits required to achieve the goal?

Do you have the right tools to ensure those habits are being developed?

The tools to achieve change, growth, control — and ultimately happiness — are here and ready to help you on your way. For a refresher or even an introduction, here is The Habit Factor Method (Free, Habit Tracking Sheet) and How to Use P.A.R.R. (video) or, you can watch it below.

Until next week,

~mg

Don’t forget the app is free (iOS and Android).

A few articles/studies to reference:

Goals Gone Wild: http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/09-083.pdf

Grit: Perseverance and Passion for Long-Term Goals
https://www.sas.upenn.edu/~duckwort/images/Grit%20JPSP.pdf

Psychology Today: Why Goal Setting Doesn’t Work (my favorite ; )
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201104/why-goal-setting-doesnt-work

12 Common Goal-Setting Mistakes — The Dirty Dozen That Kill Your Goals!

1) Too Big/Too Many

2) You’re Focusing on a To-Do List instead of Core, Recurring Behaviors (Habits)

3) You’re Not Writing Down Your Goals!

4) You Don’t Revisit Your Goals Often Enough — Ideally, Daily!

5) No Due Date? You Haven’t Set an End Date.

6) The Due Date Is NOT Realistic!

7) More Focused on the Result Than the Process

8) Related to #7: The Daily Grind Overwhelms You!

9) You Don’t Anticipate Setbacks

10) You Talk Too Much (SHUT your pie-hole, pls)

11) You’re Impatient

12) You’re Not Committed

2018 Recap: Highlights & Lessons Learned

Highlight #1: Reduced Body Fat

How does it makes me feel?

Why it’s important to me:

Highlight #2: Slacklining

How does it make me feel?

Why it’s important to me:

Highlight #3: Skydiving

How does it make me feel?

Why it’s important to me:

The ONE Question You Should Ask Yourself Every Morning (Practice, Part 2)

Sowing the Seeds with Practice

Enter EFFORT

Ben Knew How to Practice

8 Must-Ask Questions To Accelerate Your Goal’s Achievement!

Goal Achievement Series– Mindset Pro Tip #2: A.B.G. (Always Be Growing)

21 EPIC Quotes on Gratitude!

Goal Achievement Series: Mindset Pro Tip #1, "Stay on Your Toes"