“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~Dalai Lama
By: Martin Grunburg
As we round out the G.R.O.W.I.N.G. goal-achievement series, the topic “Always Be Nice” is our focal point.
You might think this would go without saying, right?
Well, I would submit to you that many of the obstacles people face along their way to achieving their personal and professional goals are self-induced! Simply put, they make their path much harder than it has to be, simply by not treating people nicely.
Goal achievement requires the highest level of maturity: Interdependence!
Interdependence (more on the topic here) is what is responsible for bridges being built and championships won!
In the professional world, playing nicely is much more a necessity than a strategy!
The late, great Dr. Stephen Covey was fond of pointing out that the highest form of maturity is NOT independence but interdependence. This is an important concept to know well, and to indoctrinate within yourself and any team players you may manage.
INTERDEPENDENCE is built upon RESPECT, TRUST AND KINDNESS.
Kindness (being nice) is simply putting the GOLDEN Rule into action. The Golden Rule, or law of reciprocity, is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated. It is a maxim of altruism seen in many human religions and cultures (this via Wikipedia).
You should treat others as you would like others to treat you (positive or directive form).
You should not treat others in ways that you would not like to be treated (negative or prohibitive form).
More from Wikipedia: “The ‘Golden Rule’ has been attributed to Jesus of Nazareth, who used it to summarize the Torah: ‘Do to others what you want them to do to you. This is the meaning of the law of Moses and the teaching of the prophets.'”
While I’m not a fan of generalizations, my experience over the last two or three decades has taught me that people with the habit of not being nice tend to orient themselves MORE from a framework that is often labeled as a “scarcity” or “limited” mindset. Essentially, this equates to a “small-pie” mentality — a belief that there is only so much pie, and if you get a slice, then there isn’t likely to be any left for me.
Someone with that scarcity mindset/belief system imposes limits on themselves and others. What’s worse is that they begin to believe that if another wins, then they will lose.
The opposite of this framework is a BIG-pie, or abundance, mindset, which believes in celebrating the success of others, and at the same time realizing it doesn’t take away from your success. In a world like this, there is enough opportunity and success to go around for everyone! And, with that frame of reference, it is much easier to be nice, encouraging and supportive with everyone!
A final thought on kindness (for now): There are many who don’t believe in the concept of “karma” — the idea that your actions will ultimately come back around at some point. To those people I would simply submit Sir Isaac Newton’s Third Law, formally stated as, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
From Wikipedia: Re: Newton’s Third Law. “This statement means that in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the forces on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object.”
To that, I will echo His Holiness the Dalai Lama: Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Until next week,
P.S.: If all has gone well, this is reaching you while I’m on vacation w/ the family in Yellowstone! Chances are good we’ll have some pics coming! ; )
Henry and I review this same topic about a week ago on the podcast!