Character

Tony Robbins’ Five Keys to Wealth and Happiness — and, of course, The Pressure Paradox ; )

Character, creative theory, goals, habits, learning, pressure

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT 101(4)

“Hard days are the best because that’s where champions are made!” ~Gabby Douglas

By: Martin Grunburg

First, if you’re familiar with my thoughts on mastery and learning, then you’ll understand how it is we are upon this topic again. ; ) If not, I recommend you listen to this podcast episode to learn why I will revisit the same lesson dozens and maybe hundreds of times.

The other day, I was randomly flipping through Tony Robbins’ Unlimited Power and found myself reading Chapter XIX, Five Keys to Wealth and Happiness.

His insights and commentary here are extremely fascinating. First, are these really the FIVE KEYS? I’m not doubting him, I’m just asking. And, “WOW!” If these really are “The Five Keys,” then they take on a very interesting and powerful light (so to speak), particularly as viewed through the prism of pressure and, of course, my most recent book, The Pressure Paradox.

For “fun” let’s keep the idea of pressure top of mind, and as you read through Tony’s Five Keys to Wealth and Happiness, ask yourself if the idea of pressure is related to any of them.

KEY #1: You must learn how to handle frustration.

KEY #2: You must learn how to handle rejection.

KEY #3: You must learn how to handle financial pressure.

KEY #4: You must learn how to handle complacency.

KEY #5: Always give more than you expect to receive.

Interesting, isn’t it!?

So how many of Tony’s “keys to wealth and happiness” are you able to associate with pressure? One or maybe two or three, right?

Obviously, the one called “financial pressure” is a bit of a no-brainer.

What bout frustration? Isn’t frustration (an emotion) a symptom of either internal or external pressure? If I get laid off, aren’t I going to be frustrated? If a goal or project doesn’t go as planned, won’t I feel frustrated? Aren’t both of these examples of feeling pressure in some way (key distinction) before the emotion?

What about rejection? Also an emotion, and I will ask the very same question: Isn’t rejection a symptom of either internal or external pressure? Both frustration and rejection are personal emotions that result from pressure. If I submit a manuscript to a publisher and it gets rejected, won’t I feel pressure? If I’m subjected to outside judgement or ridicule? Pressure.

Let’s just skip “financial pressure.” Pressure is part of the name.

Next, what about the idea of complacency? Isn’t that just the ABSENCE of pressure?

Brian Tracy likes to say that “Comfort is the great enemy of success.” BTW: That is an important distinction. He’s NOT saying it’s the enemy of success, he’s saying it is the “GREAT” enemy of success.

Complacency is another way to say or infer “comfort,” which again is the absence of pressure. If this sounds like a reach to you, here are Tony’s own words: “Many people try to avoid pressure, yet the absence of any tension or pressure usually creates a sense of boredom and the lackluster experience of life that so many people complain about.”

If you’re keeping score at home, we are now four for four when it comes to pressure as a core idea and subject relating to Tony’s “Five keys to wealth and happiness.”

And, of course, there is one last, fifth “secret.” I love “secrets”. ; ) “Always give more than you expect to receive.” Now, can you see any correlation here with this fifth secret to the idea of pressure?

Do you want more time?

Well, think about it this way: In physics, what happens when there is an action or a motion? Isn’t giving an action?

Hopefully, we’re familiar with Sir Isaac Newton’s third law of motion, formally stated, “Newton’s third law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The statement means that in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the force on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object.”

So, what happens when you are giving more than you expect to receive? Aren’t you creating a motion or a force in one direction? Doesn’t this, in its most basic, physical terms, create pressure?

Here’s the physics formula for pressure. Pressure = Force/Area P = F/A

To give more than you receive is to create a force…to create a push — a motion. Then, this force (pressure) outward must create an equal and opposite reaction. The reason this works (although Tony doesn’t mention this specifically) is because of Newton’s third law; perhaps more often in the world of personal development it’s called “The Law of Reciprocity.”

My favorite hippies just call this Karma.

Bringing it all home!

To me this just proves and reaffirms the idea that PRESSURE is essential to our well-being and success — to the formation of a life well-lived. In fact, a key thesis within The Pressure Paradox is that Pressure is essential to three key factors in our life: our productivity, performance and, interestingly, our peace of mind.

Until next week,

~mg

P.S.: If you’re thinking I’m crazy (“How in the world can pressure be essential to our peace of mind?”), well, first, you’re not alone. Second, it’s helpful to recall the definition of equilibrium (yep, more physics). Equilibrium is the equal offset of pressures, not the absence of pressure. When pressures are equally offset, we find equilibrium, balance and harmony. ; )

So, there you have it! Without of course being a “formal” endorsement from our buddy Tony, he’s certainly telling you that “you must learn how to handle PRESSURE,” and again, there just happens to be a book dedicated to that very understanding. ; )

The Love Value, or, The Value of Love

Character, creative theory, goal theory, Happiness

LoveMy-Religion

“Love is my religion.” ~Ziggy Marley

By: Martin Grunburg

The big idea of VALUES appears to me to be inescapable these days.

One day I’m discussing the topic with one of my best buds over a beer, encouraging and at the same time challenging him to figure out his values. The next day I’m interviewing a great friend on the “Habits 2 Goals” podcast and the interview is targeted largely upon her “values-based marketing agency.” (The world’s first!)

Then, the following day I’m helping/advising a company about an important exercise in their early formation/reformation and the importance of identifying their core values before they develop their mission statement.

That’s three for three in just one week, and now as I write this I recall that the prior week (my editor can confirm this), while in Yellowstone with the family, we reviewed the G.R.U.N.B.U.R.G.* (acronym) values.

All this talk about VALUES and I have found myself reassessing my personal values list — what is and what is NOT on it. Technically, I guess, the value of “love” is on the list; however, I’m not sure I’ve regarded it quite this way…

Since it’s widely understood that values direct our behavior, I decided upon another fun, personal behavior experiment. This time, I’d challenge myself to practice mindfulness directed toward and around LOVE as a primary value to drive and direct my decision matrix; LOVE, then, is the first routing point. And I’m trying to incorporate that exercise into all decisions.

What would happen if I focused upon love as that primary filter/router? Does this _____ or ______ more reflect coming from a place of love?

Would I be able to do this? Would it be difficult? (the early results have been very interesting and I’m keeping a log).

Recall: “All life is an experiment and the more experiments you make the better.” ~Emerson

The “funny” thing is, I’m sure some people already have this ingrained as a habit. For me, I’m not so sure, although it hasn’t been too difficult as of yet; again, the outcomes, insights and consequences of these behaviors and decisions have been interesting.

So, the purpose of this post is to encourage YOU to take on two exercises of your own!

Create your values list if you haven’t already.
1. Prioritize them!
2. If you already have your list, perhaps it’s been a while? Reassess it. Values should evolve over time, just like the person.
Now, for “FUN” consider LOVE as a highest value, and then consider applying the very same experiment so that the idea of LOVE becomes your primary filter/drives your decisions and immediate behaviors and watch how events unfold in your life.

BTW: If you need a good values exercise email me via the website (to the right, a little lower where it says, “connect w/ Martin”) –> And I will send you something. Please title the email: VALUES!

Oh! the Irony

For me the irony is pretty thick since I’m often doing just this — writing and talking about the significance of values — yet, truth be told, the very first time I did this “stuff” myself (20 years ago), it was not for me but for my company!

Then, about 5 years after that (I must be slow) I recognized the profound effect the exercise had on my company, our service levels, comradeship and culture.

I then recognized that this was an exercise I had to do myself.

It’s crazy to think that sports teams, organizations and business are often “run” far better than we will operate ourselves.

Think about it: Great teams and organizations set goals, define values, and create mission and vision statements.

Ask yourself, “Where are these for the most important organization/organism “ME” Inc.?

Finally, back to this idea of love driving your decisions. The thought occurred to me, “What if LOVE was a religion?” What if love were the primary driver for millions who follow one religion or another? Would there ever be war? Then, I Googled “Love is My Religion” and found Ziggy’s song below! ; )
Until next week,
~mg

*P.S.: Recommend this as a fun challenge/exercise: Use your last name or, I guess, your first name as an acronym of values for yourself and/or your family!
Example: G – grateful, R – responsible, U – unique, N – nice, B – brave, U – united, R – resourceful, G – generous

Goal Achievement Series — Mindset Pro Tip #7: Give Back!

Character, creative theory, goal theory, Habit Alignment, habits

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT 101(3)

“In the end, all that you will have is all that you gave away.”

By: Martin Grunburg

Not coincidentally, we wind up nearly right where we started weeks ago in our G.R.O.W.I.N.G. Goal Achievement Series. You may recall we began with Gratitude (the first “G”), and today we finalize our series with another “G”: the important idea and principle of Giving back!

Giving back is more than just something we ought to consider doing “once in a while,” and it’s too important to become a “someday I’ll . . .” idea or event. Giving back ought to be a habit — an ingrained, powerful and routine practice that is rooted upon the timeless principle of energy, flow or chi.

When you think about it, all that we “have” is a gift, bestowed by others. Even if you worked your ass off, it’s ALL been given to you. Beginning fundamentally with the very life you “have.”

Typically, when people think of charity and “giving back,” it’s purely a monetary exchange, some sort of charitable gift or donation. Often, though, the very best type of giving (meaning the MOST rewarding for the giver) is the GIFT of oneself, that is, your time and talents!

“What is the essence of life? To serve others and to do good.” ~Aristotle

“The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.” – Albert Schweitzer

It’s also no coincidence (from my experience, anyway) that those who give the most tend to have the most to give.

Interesting, isn’t it?

If for some reason you don’t fully believe or subscribe to this powerful idea and the practice of constant giving, please refer to the previous post, “Being Nice” and perhaps more importantly, the podcast player at the bottom (BIG Pie vs SMALL Pie).

Another powerful yet often overlooked term for money is “currency,” rooted in the idea and Latin term “currens.”

This, from the online etymology dictionary:
1650s, “condition of flowing,” from Latin currens, present participle of currere “to run” (see current (adj.)); the sense of a flow or course extended 1699 (by John Locke) to “circulation of money.”

So, when you’re out attacking your goals, it’s helpful to recognize that beneath all of your frenetic energy (you are, after all, swimming on the surface) there are powerful undercurrents of energy at play.

The giving — your giving — is where the flow of life and the purpose of life will intersect at the great, GIVING RIVER. This is a river, of course, that has no beginning and no end. Think about it; if it did, where would it start and where would it end?

Finally, to bring this home (and not to be morbid), even in your death you return yourself to nature and the universe as minerals and nutrients to help other organisms survive.

Since you can’t take anything with you, in the end, all that you’ll really have is all that you gave away! The beauty is this: Just like any habit, you can start developing the habit of giving right away. (Yes, there’s an app for that ; )

Give-on!

~mg

Goal Achievement Series — Mindset Pro Tip #6: Be Nice!

Character, Focus, goal theory, goals, habits, Happiness, performance, preparation, Success

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT 101(2)

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~Dalai Lama

By: Martin Grunburg

As we round out the G.R.O.W.I.N.G. goal-achievement series, the topic “Always Be Nice” is our focal point.

You might think this would go without saying, right?

Well, I would submit to you that many of the obstacles people face along their way to achieving their personal and professional goals are self-induced! Simply put, they make their path much harder than it has to be, simply by not treating people nicely.

Goal achievement requires the highest level of maturity: Interdependence!

Interdependence (more on the topic here) is what is responsible for bridges being built and championships won!

In the professional world, playing nicely is much more a necessity than a strategy!

The late, great Dr. Stephen Covey was fond of pointing out that the highest form of maturity is NOT independence but interdependence. This is an important concept to know well, and to indoctrinate within yourself and any team players you may manage.

INTERDEPENDENCE is built upon RESPECT, TRUST AND KINDNESS.

Kindness (being nice) is simply putting the GOLDEN Rule into action. The Golden Rule, or law of reciprocity, is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated. It is a maxim of altruism seen in many human religions and cultures (this via Wikipedia).

You should treat others as you would like others to treat you (positive or directive form).
You should not treat others in ways that you would not like to be treated (negative or prohibitive form).

More from Wikipedia: “The ‘Golden Rule’ has been attributed to Jesus of Nazareth, who used it to summarize the Torah: ‘Do to others what you want them to do to you. This is the meaning of the law of Moses and the teaching of the prophets.'”

—————–
While I’m not a fan of generalizations, my experience over the last two or three decades has taught me that people with the habit of not being nice tend to orient themselves MORE from a framework that is often labeled as a “scarcity” or “limited” mindset. Essentially, this equates to a “small-pie” mentality — a belief that there is only so much pie, and if you get a slice, then there isn’t likely to be any left for me.

Someone with that scarcity mindset/belief system imposes limits on themselves and others. What’s worse is that they begin to believe that if another wins, then they will lose.

The opposite of this framework is a BIG-pie, or abundance, mindset, which believes in celebrating the success of others, and at the same time realizing it doesn’t take away from your success. In a world like this, there is enough opportunity and success to go around for everyone! And, with that frame of reference, it is much easier to be nice, encouraging and supportive with everyone!

A final thought on kindness (for now): There are many who don’t believe in the concept of “karma” — the idea that your actions will ultimately come back around at some point. To those people I would simply submit Sir Isaac Newton’s Third Law, formally stated as, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

From Wikipedia: Re: Newton’s Third Law. “This statement means that in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the forces on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object.”

To that, I will echo His Holiness the Dalai Lama: Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

Until next week,

~mg

P.S.: If all has gone well, this is reaching you while I’m on vacation w/ the family in Yellowstone! Chances are good we’ll have some pics coming! ; )

Henry and I review this same topic about a week ago on the podcast!

Goal Achievement Series — Mindset Pro Tip #5: Know Thyself!

Character, goal theory, goals, learning, SMART Goals

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT 101(5)

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”
~Tao Te Ching

By: Martin Grunburg

Today’s post is about YOU. Not, as it were last week, about WHO, but YOU: the individual. It’s about knowing and understanding yourself, in particular, your strengths and your weaknesses.

Last week we learned a priceless personal development lesson shared by Ben Franklin (left behind in his autobiography) where he wrote, “I hope, therefore that my descendants shall follow the example and reap the benefit.” Ben provided a great deal of proof (and even a process) that demonstrated we can choose WHO we’d like to BEcome. BTW: If you missed that post, I recommend you check that out now so we’re on the same page. ; )

This week, though, we are focusing on who you are right now, today!

The process of becoming something is just like the goal-achievement process: It begins with an honest assessment and understanding of WHERE you are — your starting point.

Therefore, to get the most out of your life YOU ought to have a good understanding of who you are, what you are, and (most importantly, I think) your individual strengths and weaknesses.

While there is a great deal of hype in the personal development world these days that directs its audience toward ignoring their weaknesses and simply focusing on and affirming their strengths, I do not wholeheartedly subscribe to that thought process.

Before I share why, I’d like for us (you and me) to perform a quick exercise. Let’s both write out our Top 5-7 strengths, and then we’ll ORDER them:

YOURS:

_______,________,___________,__________,_________,__________
Now, here is what I consider mine:

creativity (connecting disparate ideas/things), strategy, relationships, achievement, individualist, visionary/futurist, positivity

I recognize that “individualist” and “relationships” are likely to seem a bit contradictory. Here’s my explanation: I do enjoy working alone AND with people, and I often find myself building bridges, helping to patch up issues and miscommunications between people who aren’t otherwise totally compatible.

Here’s where I think this gets interesting:

According to the book StrengthFinder, and after taking its extensive personality/strengths survey, here are what it says are my top five strengths, in order: Strategy, Relator, (Achiever), Futurist, (Positivity).

Now, do you notice the two strengths that are in parentheses and bold? Do you care to guess why I’ve highlighted those that way?

Here’s the answer: THESE AREAS USED TO BE WEAKNESSES.

For what you might call the first half of my adult life, I clearly recall bragging often and to anyone who’d listen as to why being a pessimist was the best way to go through life. “If the best didn’t turn out,” I would reason, “I wouldn’t be disappointed!”

Around the same time, perhaps not coincidentally (now that I give it some thought), I was often depressed, frustrated and couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t achieve my goals!

The good news is, at least I would set them. I would get excited. I would write them down and buy programs that would teach me how to achieve my goals, and I even followed the S.M.A.R.T. Goals process, all to no avail. It seems that year after year I’d land right back at square one, with zero accomplished, no significant changes, and ultimately be more depressed and frustrated. The ONLY real change was that I was another year older!

Now, here’s a critical point: Both character traits — originally areas of weakness — turned into positives through the cultivation of the right habits. Again, these are my “strengths,” according to the StrengthFinder analysis!

This transformation could NOT have happened had I simply ignored my weaknesses.

Further: Here’s the incredible thing, from my perspective: The Habit Factor® app and book would not exist, nor its worldwide impact, had I not changed these areas of weakness into areas of strength.

Bottom line: You are totally unique, just like a little beautiful snowflake* ; ) And, it’s important to know that each beautiful snowflake is uniquely flawed. Not as a liability or some deformity, but rather as a powerful gift. Not something to obsess over or become depressed by, but rather a GIFT that with some attention, energy and refinement will, over time, become a magnificent strength.

You doubt this?

History is filled with such examples. Demosthenes, who had a speech impediment, turned into one of the great orators of ancient Greece. Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein were both considered “slow” and poor students, while modern day sports heroes like Stephen Curry and Tom Brady were both characterized by “experts” as NOT likely to excel as professionals due to their numerous weaknesses.

The Gift then, is IN the weakness, but only when you have the courage to address it and the belief to know that, given time, it will become a powerful strength.

Until next week,

~mg

P.S.: Now it’s time to list your 3 greatest weaknesses. __________,_________,____________.

Now circle a “weakness” that you could turn into a great strength – if you addressed it right away. Imagine how creating that strength would transform your life five or ten years from now. Perhaps developing this strength would even set you free — mentally, emotionally, spiritually or, financially. Is it possible? You tell me… get after it!

Goal Achievement Series —Mindset Pro Tip #4: WHO Do You Want to BEcome?

Character, discipline, energy, habits, Habituation, learning, self esteem, Success, vision

“I hope, therefore, that some of my descendants may follow the example and reap the benefit.” ~Benjamin Franklin

By: Martin Grunburg

Today’s post involves the big “W” in our ongoing Goal Achievement/Mindset Series, “G.R.O.W.I.N.G.” The “W” stands for Who, as in, Who do you want to BEcome?

It’s important to remember that any BEcoming you do is a result — a byproduct — of your HABITS.

Habit equals character.

Character, of course, is who you are (today, right now). It is the sum total of all your thought and behavior habits to this point. The good news is that if you don’t necessarily like who you’ve become (your character), you can always begin the process of changing it.

“While we cannot change our destiny overnight,” Jim Rohn liked to say, “we can change our destination.”

The process of changing your character — and thereby your destiny — typically involves an awakening, a conscious decision to direct your energy, attention and focus toward the type of person you DO want to become!

So, the natural question is, “Who do you want to BEcome?”

The other option is NOT to decide. To just live a life by default rather than by design.

Is there a process or a model for this?

Incredibly, Benjamin Franklin wrote extensively about his particular process that he used to intentionally craft his own character. He began by identifying and tracking those VIRTUES he thought he must posses in order to grow into the man he wanted to become. He wrote extensively about his process in his autobiography, written when he was 79!

In fact, he thought his transformation was so substantial and significant to his lifetime of achievement that he wrote:

“I hope, therefore, that some of my descendants may follow the example and reap the benefit.”

Even a young Benjamin Franklin understood that with awareness he could direct his intention and energy into intentional behaviors (habits) and the character— the person he wanted to become. So, he did just that and began with a thorough and “extensive examination of his faults.” Then he challenged himself to “imitate Jesus and Socrates,” and in so doing, identified 13 virtues that he chose to forge by tracking in his journal.

Imitate Jesus and Socrates

Ben begins with…

“My intention being to acquire the habitude (*habits*) of all these virtues, I judg’d it would be well not to distract my attention by attempting the whole at once, but to fix it on one of them at a time; and, when I should be master of that, then to proceed to another, and so on, till I should have gone thro’ the thirteen; and, as the previous acquisition of some might facilitate the acquisition of certain others…”

Further, he wrote:

“I propos’d to myself, for the sake of clearness, to use rather more names, with fewer ideas annex’d to each, than a few names with more ideas; and I included under thirteen names of virtues all that at that time occurr’d to me as necessary or desirable, and annexed to each a short precept, which fully express’d the extent I gave to its meaning:

1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

3. Order: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

6. Industry: Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

8. Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9. Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.

11. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

12. Chastity.

13. Humility.”

Importantly, Franklin wanted to emphasize that religions didn’t have to be part of this process, and indeed the method was open to all (excerpted from Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography):

“It will be remark’d that, tho’ my scheme was not wholly without religion, there was in it no mark of any of the distinguishing tenets of any particular sect. I had purposely avoided them; for, being fully persuaded of the utility and excellency of my method, and that it might be serviceable to people in all religions, and intending some time or other to publish it, I would not have anything in it that should prejudice anyone, of any sect, against it.”

More From Ben…

“I made a little book, in which I allotted a page for each of the virtues. I rul’d each page with red ink, so as to have seven columns, one for each day of the week, marking each column with a letter for the day. I cross’d these columns with thirteen red lines, marking the beginning of each line with the first letter of one of the virtues, on which line, and in its proper column, I might mark, by a little black spot, every fault I found upon examination to have been committed respecting that virtue upon that day.”

(Here’s some GOLD!!! How Ben TRACKED)

“I enter’d upon the execution of this plan for self-examination, and continu’d it with occasional intermissions for some time. I was surpris’d to find myself so much fuller of faults than I had imagined; but I had the satisfaction of seeing them diminish. To avoid the trouble of renewing now and then my little book, which, by scraping out the marks on the paper of old faults to make room for new ones in a new course, became full of holes, I transferr’d my tables and precepts to the ivory leaves of a memorandum book, on which the lines were drawn with red ink, that made a durable stain, and on those lines I mark’d my faults with a black-lead pencil, which marks I could easily wipe out with a wet sponge. After a while I went thro’ one course only in a year, and afterward only one in several years, till at length I omitted them entirely, being employ’d in voyages and business abroad, with a multiplicity of affairs that interfered; but I always carried my little book with me.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Unfortunately, it seems the majority of people don’t take the time to ask such important questions. Hence, they allow their character to be forged by their daily habits, which are often crafted by default rather than by design.

“The wise man rules his habits and the fool obeys them.”

Screen Shot 2017-04-03 at 1.26.10 PM

P.S.: Many of my long-time readers and listeners know this story well. They know that this was, in many ways, the foundation of The Habit Factor® app. In fact, I was so excited to learn about Ben’s success with this process, AFTER I had already started developing The Habit Factor, that we stopped development of the app and decided instead to create and release a different app, the VIRTUES app first.

I thought that sharing Ben’s process via an app would be an instant hit. While it was a huge hit to start, The Habit Factor® app ended up far outselling VIRTUES (to my surprise) and became the cornerstone of our app portfolio. Knowing though, that The Habit Factor® method is, in many ways, validated and echoed by the brilliance of Ben’s process is an enormous affirmation!

To listen to some of that backstory on the app development and Ben’s influence check out these short “Habits 2 Goals” Podcast episodes.

Until next week, Be Like Ben! (time to get tracking!)

~mg

Goal Achievement Series — Mindset Pro Tip #3: Taking 100% Responsibility

belief, Character, creative theory, creativity, discipline, Focus, goal, goal theory, goals, pressure, responsibility, SMART Goals, Success

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT 101(3)

“Responsibility is the price of greatness.” ~Winston Churchill.

By: Martin Grunburg

Continuing our Goal Achievement Series “G.R.O.W.I.N.G.,” today’s topic brings us to perhaps the most important and pronounced trait of those whom we consider “great” and “successful” — RESPONSIBILITY.

This key attribute and mindset is universal in all great goal achievers. Responsibility simply cannot be extracted from any “success equation.” Just try to imagine any historical great or person you deem “successful” who doesn’t take responsibility — that is, who blames their results or their situation on others and makes excuses.

Responsibility is the starting point and, in many ways, it is the ENDING point.

As Harry S. Truman was fond of saying, “The buck stops here!”

When you start with 100 % responsibility you are saying to the world, “I am capable of creating my ideal future.” When you take 100% responsibility, things begin to change.

Don’t believe this? Consider the exact opposite mindset: “I’m not responsible for my choices, actions or the outcomes in my life.”

What sort of results is that mindset likely to produce?”

Got Excuses?

Nothing in this world may be recycled more than excuses. (Feel free to tweet that quote ; ) If we’re busy creating excuses, we’re not creating results!

Here’s your 100% Responsibility Checklist:

I <NAME> Fully Commit To Taking 100% Responsibility for:

MY CHOICES! (each item represents a choice)
my attitude
my decisions
my habits
my goals
my level of well-being (weight, fitness, peace of mind)
my happiness (nobody can make you unhappy without your permission)
my relationships
my level of growth!
my charitable giving
my belief and faith in myself
my self-worth and self-esteem!

Watch Jim Rohn explain the value of 100% responsibility!

My favorite part may be his “reasons for not looking good” and his “blame list,” and when Shoaff says, “There’s just one problem with your list…”

Haha! Looking for a little more on the topic! Check out these

21 EPIC Quotes on Gratitude!

Character, discipline, Focus, goals

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT 101(2)

By: Martin Grunburg

Our Goal Achievement Series “G.R.O.W.I.N.G.” continues. We’ve already reviewed the importance of 1) Being On Your Toes (that aggressive, confident and positive mindset) and, 2) Always Be Growing (which is the general theme behind goal-setting ; ). We’ll continue exploring each letter of our GROWING acronym (in no particular order) in the weeks ahead — running through 7 essential mindsets that foster growth and goal achievement!

I’ve written two posts already on this week’s topic, GRATITUDE. (Both were published right before the end of 2016, not coincidentally around Thanksgiving.) They were, respectively: Gratitude is the Game-Changer, and More on Gratitude: 11 Ways Gratitude is the Game-Changer (please be sure to read these first!).

To round out our gratitude series of posts, I figured we could use some brilliant and powerful quotes on the matter to make you ponder, and then ponder some more!

BTW: Here is where YOU say, “I already know all this… I know gratitude is important!”

Now, knowing you might think this, I’m going to bribe you with a really cool and free Gratitude Guide, Tool/Template.

Yep! A BONUS GIFT JUST FOR YOU!

Because I’m so grateful for you.

(Ha ha, you didn’t think I’d let you get away without slipping that one in?)

Seriously, I’ve created a really neat and FREE Gratitude Guide; it’s a PDF that includes a cool 8 -week tracker!

Seems to me, we can all use a “fine-tuning” of our minds from time to time — some of us more than others. So, please reference this gratitude guide; it also includes these EPIC 21 quotes on gratitude too!

Until next week… always grateful!

~mg

P.S.” If you’re recalling or have missed our Season II, Habits 2 Goals podcast interview w/ Professor, Glenn Fox re: Gratitude you can check it here:

Subscribe to the Habits 2 Goals Podcast

QUOTES:

“‘Enough’ is a feast. ~Buddhist proverb

“Gratitude and attitude are not challenges; they are choices.” ~Robert Braathe

“This a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.” ~Maya Angelou

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” ~Epictetus

“Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~John Wooden

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ~A.A. Milne

“If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.” ~Robert Quillen

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Gratitude is more of a compliment to yourself than someone else.” ~Raheel Farooq

“In life, one has a choice to take one of two paths: to wait for some special day — or to celebrate each special day.” ~Rasheed Ogunlaru

“We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count.” ~Neal A. Maxwell

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.” ~Gertrude Stein

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” ~Doris Day

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” ~William Arthur Ward

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” ~John F. Kennedy

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” ~Denis Waitley

“When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.” ~Elie Wiesel

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” ~Zig Ziglar

“The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Goal Achievement Series: Mindset Pro Tip #1, “Stay on Your Toes”

belief, Character, creative theory, creativity, energy, Focus, goal theory, goals, habits, self esteem

ON-Toes-550w
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

Life is challenging enough, and it’s easy to become discouraged as you’re beaten down by the daily grind. Amid all this, chasing a BIG goal can seem overwhelming.

Here’s the thing, though: The more we let the “grind” wear us down, the more we fall back on our heels and lose energy, becoming deflated, hesitant, overwhelmed and even scared. Fears and doubts set in. “I’m probably not going to be able to pull this off.” Our belief wanes, our energy subsides, and we become flat-footed. Without really noticing, our actions cease.

We might even tell ourselves or our friends, “I’m just too busy right now,” or, “I’ll get back to it when I have more time.”

BAM!

“What just happened?” You wake up. You snap out of it and wonder, “Did I just raise the white flag? Did I give up hope?”

Was it by choice or by default? In other words, were you like the frog who is boiled to death, where the temperature of the water changes so slowly, so gradually, the frog doesn’t notice until it’s too late?

Do the very best goal achievers — our heroes — experience brutal setbacks?

Of course they do. Do they experience doubt? Absolutely. But they push through it.

In order to push through difficult times, the visual I love so much is Muhammad Ali and his now-famous “rope-a-dope“! In one of his most famous fights, “the Rumble in the Jungle,” versus the larger and much stronger George Foreman, Ali recognized the path to any possible victory meant he’d have to take some punches — and probably a beating. This was his strategy to get Foreman to expend vital energy, while at the same time allowing Ali to conserve energy.

Curled up in the corner, Ali got hammered by the lumbering Foreman. But Ali conserved energy, weathered the storm, and then guess what he did? That’s right, he came out fighting! In a flurry of punches (action) he came out aggressively bobbing and weaving…on his toes!

Like Ali, our path to success is going to involve taking some punches! But with the right mindset, we can use the beating (any difficulty) to learn, regroup, and prepare in order to re-engage the fight!

And, remember, every storm will pass.

So here are some more KEY QUESTIONS for you:

Are others counting you out?

Are you counting yourself out?

Who decides if you’re still in the fight or if it’s time to give up?

Who knows for certain what the future holds in store for you?

What mindset gives you a better chance for success and goal achievement? A doubtful, hesitant mindset or a positive, confident and aggressive mindset?

What are some ways you can stay in your particular “fight” when the going gets tough?

What resources can you tap to help “conserve” energy during whatever “beating” you are undergoing?

How can you tell when you’re ready to come out in full force once again?

In a hurry? Start watching at 42:30. Enjoy!

Until next week,

~mg

Mastery and the Art of Learning

Character, creativity, energy, Focus, goals, Habit Alignment

By: Martin Grunburg

“How many times have you listened to that playlist?” my friend asked. “I don’t know,” I answered. “Probably a couple hundred times.” He was referring to my personal development playlist on my phone, which includes some of my favorite thinkers, from Wayne Dyer to Tony Robbins, with a healthy dose of Covey, Nightingale, Hill and a host of everything in between.

This “PD Playlist” just goes into auto-shuffle mode during any run or workout, and at this point I almost always hear a familiar lesson or message. Rarely I will introduce new material, and sometimes — to add variety — I’ll throw in my “metal-love” or Jack Johnson playlist.

Let me back up, though.

I used to think I was foolish — or perhaps just not too smart — because I always liked hearing a lesson or message several times. And by “several” I mean in the dozens-plus! I seem to do this with books, as well. So I will re-engage any playlist or book I’m studying over and over and over.

I’m sure it seems like listening to the same message or lesson (material) over and over and over again — AND then some more — must be a huge waste of time, energy and, by association, money, right? I’m not so sure; it might be the exact opposite. Let me explain.

We don’t seem to question a person who practices a “discipline” (interesting choice of words), such as piano, over and over and over again. Or, the person who puts in hundreds, maybe even thousands of hours to perform better, right? When it comes to performance-related activities, practice and repetition are essential, yet somehow, when it comes to learning, it’s considered a waste of time.

Have you ever watched the same movie more than once? How about more than a half-dozen times? What happened each time you saw the movie? Did you happen to notice any new material? Were there any nuances or new information you interpreted differently? Perhaps you even said, “Huh, I didn’t catch that the last time I saw this!”

Well, watching a movie isn’t too dissimilar from learning — at least for me ; ). I can listen to the same podcast (here’s mine) or lesson or class, or read the same book or (you name the material), and all of a sudden it seems as though I’m picking up on brand-new information. Here’s the best part: I am!

Of course, that information was there all along, wasn’t it? So, what happened?

What happened is “life.” One of my favorite quotes (link) is, “When the student is ready, the master appears.”

Sometimes we’re just not ready. Sometimes our head is in a different place, our attention is elsewhere (and of course this is a great case for learning to focus our attention in the moment, particularly when it comes to learning, but that is for another time). Then there is this theory: Maybe there’s only so much NEW info we can jam into our heads before it’s “full” (for the moment anyway).

It reminds me of the quote (reportedly attributed to Samuel Clemons), “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

The point is we live in a highly dynamic world where information and our attention are always shifting. Therefore, it’s essential to revisit the same information/material when you want to learn it deeply. By studying the same material over and over and over again, you gain incredible depth that you wouldn’t otherwise have attained. BTW: I know now that this is precisely why and how The Habit Factor was able to provide such breakthroughs around the subject of habit.

GO DEEP and REPEAT, whether it is a performance or learning a subject that interests you. In many ways there is nothing new here; it’s the same as when people are achieving a Ph.D. What do they do? The student goes deep. She spends four years learning about ONE discipline from various aspects, angles and perspectives. She studies DEEPLY ONE SUBJECT.

Why aren’t you doing that with the subjects that tickle your fancy!?

So, whatever captures your attention and curiosity, give into it, do not be rushed. Spend 15 minutes a day reading about it, listening to the same lessons over and over, and writing about it. Be sure to let me know what happens! Chances are good that around year five you will be considered an “expert”. ; )

Until next week,

~mg

The Best Blog Post Ever!

Character, creativity, energy, goal, goal theory, goals, habits, performance, Success

By: Martin Grunburg

Just over a year ago my youngest daughter Eva, decided to run for student council president (as an eight grader). Upon hearing her decision my first tendency was to shield/protect her from the pain of a potential loss. However, I managed to contain myself and any impulse to intervene (I said nothing).

I’m glad that I did— she won. What I found even more fascinating (than her victory) was that when she set out to write her speech she titled it, (get this) “The Best Speech Ever!”.

I just laughed… that’s funny I thought.

Eva’s always had a great sense of humor and a very mature, dry, quick wit (compliments of her mother) but I suspect there was a little more to the speech title than meets the eye. “The Best Speech Ever!”? Seriously? Who says that? Who writes such things? I mean that sounds a little or a lot audacious and perhaps even arrogant? Eva is none of those things. She’s rather humble, quiet and thoughtful young lady. I mean I’ve written a handful of speeches in my life and have never even once, considered titling any of them, “The best speech ever!”

“The Best Speech Ever!” Absurd right? Move over Abraham Lincoln, MLK and Franklin Deleanor Roosevelt

At this point, you may be wondering, “Well was it any good? Was it the best speech ever?” Not exactly. It a good speech that helped her win for sure but nobody is sending it to the Library of Congress. However, the more I pondered it (the title specifically) the more interesting it became.

What could I learn from our little eighth grader’s bid to win her Student Council Presidency?

And, here is the answer, drum roll please…

Why bother, if you don’t fully believe?

That’s right… Why bother going after that goal if you don’t believe it’s possible? I’m sure that sounds overtly simple, trite and cliche.

But really think about this seriously, “What is the point of expending any effort or energy if you don’t fully believe you can do it— that you’ll achieve your goal? Why are you even going to attempt it if “you’re not in it to win it” as the saying goes? What is the point!?

I know this seems like a real no-brainer, totally obvious yet that is precisely why it demands our attention. I’ve made a second career out of analyzing the obvious at this point so why let this one escape.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just gone through the motions myself… putting in time, energy and attention toward some goal with the thought, “Look, we’ll give it a go and if it doesn’t work out, that’s alright— you never know, we’ll see what happens.” (think old Jewish rabbi voice with palms facing upwards shrugging shoulders. ; )

So, what’s wrong with proceeding with that mindset?

Well, that’s the voice of pragmatism — not belief. Pragmatists are great when it comes to looking backward, commenting, criticizing and critiquing. Identifying what, where and when things went wrong and how they could have gone better or different. And, our society loves to criticize and judge everything! Think about it, today’s most popular TV shows involve “judges” or critics.

Here’s the problem though when it comes to goal setting: GOAL SETTING IS ABOUT THE FUTURE!

People who create the future aren’t and have never been known as pragmatists. Nobody has ever called Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs or Elon Musk pragmatists. Instead they were all labeled visionaries.

Vision is rooted in belief. Belief is essential to creativity. Goal achievement is creation!

This is a why one of the smartest (most knowledgeable) men in history, Einstein, proclaimed, “Imagination (vision) is more important than knowledge.”

The future comes one day at a time and the best way to predict the future is create it. While it’s essential to know which way the wind is blowing ; ) (more great cliches) here’s a singular truth: No great achiever, visionary or creator was known to be a pragmatist. He/She was a visionary first— a creator who believed in her ability and vision long before anyone else.

A few questions for you:

What’s your biggest goal at the moment?

On a scale of 1-10 what is your belief that you will achieve it?

Who determines if you are right or wrong?

Who knows for certain what the outcome will be?

Ask yourself, what’s the value of beginning toward your goal if you don’t believe it’s possible?

Always remember, “There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic”. Believe.

Until next week,

~mg

Speech-Chicken

Habit and Skill Development: The Four Stages of Competence

Character, creativity, energy, goal theory, Habituation, Success

Fourstages-graphic

By: Martin Grunburg

The last two weeks we’ve focused on the simple idea that rather than trying to distinguish and separate habit and skill (something even top behavioral psychologists struggle to differentiate), it may serve us to take a moment and wrap our minds around their powerful similarities. Let’s strengthen the link between these two important concepts.

In psychology there is something known as the “four stages of competence,” originally described (get this) as “The Four Stages for Learning Any New Skill” (emphasis on the skill).

The four stages of “learning any new skill” or “competence” relates specifically to the psychological states we experience as we progress from incompetence to competence amid the acquisition of a new skill.

What’s fascinating to me is that the highest level of competence is identified as “unconscious competence,” emphasis on the unconscious. Couldn’t that just be labeled the “habit level of competence“?

For example, let’s think about a concert pianist or really any virtuoso — maybe even a jazz musician. When such an artist is performing at their highest level, there is little if any conscious thought involved. For instance, the pianist isn’t thinking, “Now, do I put my index finger on the C?” They are completely captivated and “in the moment.” You could also say they are “in the zone.” (For more on the essence of the zone, check out this post https://thehabitfactor.com/2016/01/the-key-to-peak-performance-and-the-zone-is-habituation/ or find even more here in The Pressure Paradox where I explore the topic extensively.)

Let us revisit exactly what the four basic levels of learning or competence are comprised of:

Phase I: Unconscious Incompetence: At this level, the person doesn’t even know what he/she is doing or how bad at any particular skill or task they are. A good example of this might be the skill of managing others: Many managers, especially new ones, begin at this first level — and this can be a dangerous place for your career should you not evolve and move to the next level. For instance, a new manager might not even know that he or she is a bad manager; this ignorance might prevent him from moving to the next phase of learning and may even result in being fired.

Phase II: Conscious Incompetence: They know they are not good at managing people, so they begin to learn. They start adjusting their management “style”and develop some basic management skills. They are still not too good at the skill/task (in this case managing people), but they at least recognize that fact and they are taking steps to learn and become better.

Phase III: Conscious Competence: At this level the manager is much better at managing people (they are competent), but the skill/task remains challenging. It’s hard work, and they continue to practice and learn how to become a better manager. They put in the effort day after day until they reach . . .

Phase IV: Unconscious competence: Now, after years of management experience and routinely practicing, modeling and learning the behaviors of a skilled manager, the skill of managing people has finally become “second nature.” This, of course, explains the desire of most companies to hire people with experience. At this level of competence — the highest level — the manager’s decisions and actions are “habit-like,” requiring very little conscious effort and exuding a high level of competence.

Moving to “Mastery”

When it comes to mastery and “success,” it’s a bit of a cliche these days to cite Malcolm Gladwell’s “10,000 hour rule,” yet it’s unavoidable here ; ). In his great book Outliers, Gladwell sets out to dispel many of the common myths behind what it takes to become a “success.”

Throughout the book he cites numerous “outlier” instances responsible for helping to create one great success story after another. However, there is one constant among all the great success stories. Do you care to guess what that one constant is?

It turns out that the one thing each great, successful personality had in common was an unrelenting pursuit of their craft/goal. Each “success” would put in a minimum of 10,000 hours refining and honing their craft.

Now, care to guess what we develop when we put 10,000 hours of practice and effort into any one craft/skill? Correct! We develop the corresponding HABIT/S! After that amount of time, these individuals achieve the highest level of unconscious competence….mastery.

The takeaway, then, is fairly straightforward: When you think about habit development, think first about how to refine the skill — practice the skill repeatedly. The repeated practice with consistency, over time, will yield a new level of expertise — a habit-level of competence or “unconscious competence.”

The other commonality between habit and skill is this: Both reside in the “older” parts of the brain. So, as one practices and practices and practices some more (recall conscious incompetence and competence), it seems that the brain begins to shift the slow, cumbersome and conscious behaviors/skills to a faster and more reflexive part of the brain where conscious thinking is limited. The cerebellum and the limbic regions of the brain (the older brain) reportedly store unconscious, reflexive behaviors, skills and habits!

Now, consider what the military and first responders do: They practice, practice and practice some more. The goal is to move slow, conscious behaviors (performed in training) into the faster, reflexive parts of the brain so that in any emergency their behaviors become “second nature” and habit-like.

This is why mastery is truly a product of habituation. For instance, the greatest musicians have thousands of hours of practice and often become totally relaxed and seemingly “unconscious” (in the zone or flow) when they improvise, and yet the first-time performer is slow, timid and obviously very conscious of their performance. This is why a new teenage driver’s car insurance is sky high and it’s nerve-wracking to drive with them, yet when you drive you can be eating, talking on the phone and listening to music. And finally, this is why Tom Brady has the ability to demonstrate absolute focus, calm and confidence while under immense pressure with hundreds of millions of people watching him on one of the world’s biggest stages: He’s habituated to the experience (and just won his fifth Super Bowl).

The other takeaway is this: There is no escaping the hard work! ; )

Get after it — and enjoy the process, the journey!

~mg

The Best Blog Post Ever!

The Demystification of Habit: Skill vs Habit and Why You Should Care