habits

P.A.R.R.: The Scientific Method for Habit Development and Goal-Directed Behavior

Behavior Change, Character, creativity, goal theory, habits, HabitStregth™, Health, Scientific Method

By: The Habit Factor®

What Is the Scientific Method—and Why Does It Matter?

For hundreds of years, the scientific method has been the cornerstone of discovery and progress. From curing diseases to exploring space, the world’s greatest breakthroughs have followed this simple, powerful process.

It’s LOGIC and common sense codified.

At its core, the scientific method is a structured way of solving problems and testing ideas. Rather than guessing, hoping, or relying on intuition, scientists observe, form hypotheses, test, collect data, and refine. It’s the engine that drives real-world progress—systematic, repeatable, and grounded in results.

The Scientific Method: Step by Step

Observation – Identify a problem or ask a question.
Hypothesis – Predict a possible explanation or outcome.
Experiment – Design and perform a test to gather evidence.
Data Collection – Measure and record results.
Analysis – Evaluate the data to see what it reveals.
Conclusion / Reassessment – Confirm, revise, or reject the hypothesis and iterate.

This method dates back to the works of thinkers like Ibn al-Haytham, Francis Bacon, and Galileo, who all emphasized the importance of testing ideas through observation and evidence—not belief or tradition.

Examples of the Scientific Method in Action

🔬 Medicine – New drugs and vaccines are developed by forming hypotheses, running clinical trials, and analyzing results before approval.
🌌 Astronomy – Galileo tested the idea that planets orbit the sun by observing celestial bodies through a telescope and recording their motion.
📈 Marketing – Businesses run A/B split tests to see which ad or headline performs better—hypothesis, test, data, refine.
💡 Engineering – Inventors like Edison used repeated testing and iteration (1,000+ times for the light bulb) to arrive at successful innovations.

The takeaway? IF it applies to nearly everything you’re trying to produce NEW RESULTS… it CERTAINLY applies to behavior change, right?

Progress requires data! Testing. Reflection. Adjustment.

This simple structure has guided scientists and innovators for centuries.

But here’s the twist:

Despite decades of behavioral science and models—where is the scientific method when it comes to behavior change?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Why do we rigorously test medicine and machines, but leave personal growth, habit development, and goal achievement up to chance or motivation?

That’s the gap P.A.R.R. was built to close.

Oh! And by the way, it’s been doing just that for the past 15 years.

P.A.R.R. as the Scientific Method for Behavior Change

While the scientific method has fueled progress across medicine, engineering, and astronomy, marketing and advertising, why hasn’t science officially acknowledge P.A.R.R. which has proven effective since The Habit Factor’s inception in 2009!?

That’s where P.A.R.R. (Plan, Act, Record, Reassess) steps in.

Developed in 2009 and published in The Habit Factor®, P.A.R.R. is essentially the scientific method for habit formation—reimagined and streamlined for real people and real behaviors.

Here’s the KICKER… just like the scientific method… (brace yourself) IT ALWAYS WORKS.

“What!?” You exclaim. “How is that possible!?”

The Scientific method – just like PARR (for behavior change) always works when it’s employed because it produces DATA!

Even if you don’t get the behavior change your looking for, you get INFORMATION.

Let’s break down the overlap:

Scientific Method	P.A.R.R.
1. Observation	Plan – Choose a goal or behavior to improve.
2. Hypothesis	Plan – Set clear, testable intentions: “If I journal 3x/week, my stress will decrease.”
3. Experiment	Act – Perform the habit deliberately and consistently.
4. Data Collection	Record – Track success using binary markers (1 = did it, 0 = didn’t).
5. Analysis	Reassess – Review your data and note what worked.
6. Conclusion / Iterate	Reassess – After 4 Weeks—28 Days of tracking compare your “actuals” vs “targets”. IF 85% or better increase MSC and/or Target Days. Continue tracking for the next 4-Week period. (New Plan)

P.A.R.R. transforms abstract goals into a measurable, repeatable system. It brings behavioral intelligence to life—giving people a method to refine, realign, and progress with clarity and confidence.

The Painful Irony: Behavioral Science Ignoring the Scientific Method

Here’s where it gets a little uncomfortable.

For decades, behavioral scientists have promoted the habit loop—the now-famous framework of cue → routine → reward—as the foundation of habit formation.

Yes, it’s catchy. Yes, it explains simple, reactive behaviors (like grabbing a snack when you see one).

However, for intentional, goal-directed behavior? For building habits that support long-term achievement?

It falls short.

And here’s the kicker:

The same field that pioneered the scientific method has mostly ignored it when it comes to changing human behavior.

Where are the clear hypotheses?
Where is the tracking?
Where is the reassessment loop?

Crickets.

Instead, popular habit books and models regurgitate the rat-maze psychology of Skinner and Pavlov—leaving out the very method that turned science into the global force it is today.

This is more than ironic—it’s almost tragic.

Because while cue-routine-reward can explain how habits form, it doesn’t help us form the right ones. It doesn’t help us track or adjust. It doesn’t create intelligent, personalized feedback loops that support growth.

P.A.R.R. does.

And it’s been doing so for over 15 years—empowering individuals, teams, and organizations to bring scientific thinking into everyday behavior.

Not just understanding habits, but engineering them.

Plan —Act—Record—Reassess

Some habits form effortlessly—checking your phone, snacking, scrolling social media.

Others, like exercising regularly, writing daily, or developing a new skill, seem frustratingly difficult to stick with.

Why?

The difference is an organized system–a structured PLAN that extends your desire–your intention.

Good habits happen when planned; bad habits happen on their own.

This is where P.A.R.R. (Plan, Act, Record, Reassess) comes in to play—a “new” scientific approach to habit formation (which, ironically, has been around for over 15 years).

If you want to develop intentional, goal-directed behaviors—habits that align with our goals the development of a simple plan makes your efforts much easier.

Unlike the former, outdated Cue-Routine-Reward model—a largely based on rodent behavior studies—P.A.R.R. leverages your uniquely human capacities:

✔ Choice – We can decide which habits to develop.
✔ Intention – We can design and align habits with our goals and intelligence.
✔ Reflection – We can track, analyze, and refine habits over time.

This sort of goal-directed habit development and alignment process shifts habit formation from some sort of passive “habit loop” into an active, structured process—one that happens to, not coincidentally, mirror the scientific method. It puts you in control of your behavioral design and intelligence.

Old Science vs. New Science: The Evolution of Habit Formation

For decades, habit research fixated on the Cue-Routine-Reward model (aka the “habit loop”), popularized by books like The Power of Habit.

While helpful for understanding the formation of automatic behaviors, this model has major limitations for goal-directed, human intelligence.

The Old Habit Development Model: Cue-Routine-Reward (“The Habit Loop”)

This system proves itself for unintentional, reactive and reflexive habits, such as:

✔ Checking your phone when you hear a notification.
✔ Snacking when you see food on the counter.
✔ Putting on a seatbelt when you get in a car.

These behaviors become automatic because external cues trigger responses without conscious thought.

However, for intentional, goal-directed habits—like exercising, writing, or skill-building—the habit loop is hardly ideal and lacks the intentional planning and refinement processes humans can employ to ensure they stay on track.

The Newer Model: P.A.R.R. (Plan, Act, Record, Reassess)

How P.A.R.R. Applies the Scientific Method to Habit Formation

✔ Plan → Formulate a hypothesis: “If I exercise three times a week, my energy will improve.”
✔ Act → Perform the habit as scheduled.
✔ Record → Track progress using a simple 1 or 0 system (Did it / Didn’t do it).
✔ Reassess → Analyze patterns, identify obstacles, and refine the habit strategy every 28 days.

This method ensures that habit formation isn’t based on motivation—it’s based on measurable, iterative progress.

Habits & Skills: The Fraternal Twins of Learning

Is that a habit or a skill?

Good question.

You tell me—Is playing the piano a habit or a skill?

What about tying your shoes? Riding a bike?

Rather than focusing on their differences, we should recognize the strong connection between habits and skills—an association often overlooked in existing science.

Good habits are frequently seen as separate from skill development, but in reality, they follow the same learning process, particularly when they are goal-directed (intentional).

Take learning to tie your shoes or ride a bike—both require intentional practice.

That practice develops skill, and over time, both the habit of riding the bike and the skill of riding the bike shift from the slow, deliberate executive brain to the limbic system, where they become automatic.

The point is, when it comes to goal-directed habits and skills, both require intentional practice. When well-formed, both reside in the limbic region.

Both follow the Four Stages of Competence:

Unconscious Incompetence – You don’t know what you don’t know.
Conscious Incompetence – You recognize the effort required.
Conscious Competence – You can do it, but it takes effort.
Unconscious Competence – It becomes automatic.

✔ Habits develop through repeated behavior until they become automatic.
✔ Skills develop through deliberate practice until they become second nature.

P.A.R.R. helps bridge the gap from effortful learning to automaticity—reinforcing the habit-skill connection.

BONUS: It’s the intentional practice of following PARR to cultivate any habit that fosters the discipline habit–an ancillary habit, skill, and trait.

Grab your free habits-to-goals tracking sheet here: https://thehabitfactor.com/templates/

Capacity, Not Skill, as the Core of Habit Formation

A common misconception is that habit formation requires skill.

The late, great Stephen Covey used to explain that habit formation required three things: skill, desire, and knowledge.

Due to the similarities between habits and skills—how they are formed and where they reside—it is only language, behaviorally, that separates the two. Thus, skill cannot be a requirement for habit development. Rather, capacity is the requirement for both habit and skill development.

To develop the toothbrushing habit, you don’t need the skill of toothbrushing; you need the capacity to hold the toothbrush and move it around, as well as the knowledge and, most importantly, the desire.

This is a crucial yet subtle distinction that makes all the difference, helping to clarify the real requirements for habit development while more closely aligning skills and goal-directed habits as sharing the same developmental path.

This is precisely why P.A.R.R.—The Habit Factor’s method for habit development—has proven so efficacious.

Three Essential Components for Habit Development

Capacity – Physical, cognitive, and emotional resources available to sustain the habit.
Knowledge – Understanding of the behavior and how to execute it.
Desire – Genuine motivation and alignment with personal goals.

If a habit isn’t sticking, the most common culprit is desire—a lack of genuine motivation. Without it, no amount of knowledge or capacity will drive consistent action.

This is precisely why habit tracking is essential—it sits at the intersection of desire and volition (will). Tracking serves as both a mirror and a motivator, reinforcing commitment, building self-efficacy, and revealing the gap between intention and action. It transforms fleeting motivation into sustained progress, making habit formation far more intentional and effective.

7 Benefits of Habit Tracking by following P.A.R.R., the Scientific Method for Intentional Habit Cultivation.

1️⃣ Increases Awareness & Intention – Tracking strengthens behavioral intelligence.
2️⃣ Creates a Data Feedback Loop – Empirical tracking leads to data-driven improvements.
3️⃣ Enhances Accountability – Self-monitoring reinforces commitment.
4️⃣ Builds Self-Efficacy – Achieving Minimum Success Criteria (MSC) builds confidence.
5️⃣ Generates Momentum – Visible progress fuels motivation.
6️⃣ Promotes Automaticity – Consistent tracking accelerates habit formation.
7️⃣ Develops Discipline – Tracking itself becomes a habit that strengthens self-control.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about P.A.R.R. and Habit Alignment

1. What makes P.A.R.R. different from the Habit Loop (Cue-Routine-Reward)?

P.A.R.R. (or PARR) is specifically designed for intentional, goal-directed behavior—it’s not just about automatic habit loops. P.A.R.R. allows users to leverage their innate capacities of choice, intention, and reflection, making habit formation a conscious and strategic process.

Thus, planning, tracking, and reassessment become integral, creating a more intentional, human-centered, and structured approach to building powerful habits.

2. Can P.A.R.R. help me break bad habits?

Yes! Instead of trying to “eliminate” a bad habit outright, P.A.R.R. helps you replace it with a goal-aligned behavior. By tracking your progress, you can systematically reduce undesirable habits while reinforcing new, positive ones.

3. How long does it take for a habit to stick using P.A.R.R.?

Research varies, but the key is repetition with reassessment. P.A.R.R. operates in 28-day tracking cycles, allowing for ongoing adjustments based on real data. While the best scientific research suggests 67 days, the truth is based upon all the variables above–desire perhaps the greatest of all, there is no set period of time. You’ll know a habit is beginning when it begins to feel more automatic.

4. Does habit tracking actually improve success rates?

Absolutely. Studies show that habit tracking increases awareness, accountability, and motivation, leading to higher success rates in habit formation.

Conclusion: Your Habits, Your Life

If artificial intelligence can be described as “goal-directed behavior” then YOU as an intelligent being are/should be GOAL-DIRECTED.

Intentionally crafted and goal-aligned habits therefore reflect your intelligence, and shape your character and future.

The Latin root of habit: HABIT•US, means condition and/or character.

Unlike a lab rat, you have choice, intention, and reflection.

Using them is intelligence in action.

We’ll say it again for FUN –we’ve only been teaching and preaching this for 15 years now ; )

It’s your job #1: Craft and align habits with your goals, values, and aspirations.

Shape your future—one experiment at a time.

Start today. Plan, Act, Record, Reassess.

🚀 P.A.R.R. isn’t just a method—it’s a life-changing framework for intentional behavior change.

Grab your free habits-to-goals tracking sheet here: https://thehabitfactor.com/templates/

ChatGPT & MG Talk Habit Development, Discipline, P.A.R.R., & Skills & Habits

discipline, Habit Alignment, habits, P.A.R.R., P.A.R.R. Methodology, Skills

MG: What is the habit factor?

GPT: The “habit factor” refers to the idea that certain actions or behaviors can become routine and automatic through repetition, making them more likely to be performed in the future. This concept is often studied in the fields of psychology and behavioral economics.

MG: isn’t there a book too

GPT: Yes, there is a book called “The Habit Factor” written by Martin Grunburg. The book aims to help readers understand how habits are formed and how they can be changed in order to achieve goals and improve productivity. It provides a step-by-step process for creating and maintaining good habits, as well as strategies for overcoming bad habits. The book also emphasizes the importance of tracking progress and staying motivated in order to achieve long-term success.

MG: I thought so, does it mention a process for habit formation called PARR?

GPT: Yes, “The Habit Factor” by Martin Grunburg mentions a process called P.A.R.R. (which stands for “Prompt, Action, Reward, Record”) as a key part of habit formation. The PARR process is a simple, four-step process for creating new habits:

Prompt: Identify a specific cue or trigger that will remind you to perform the desired behavior.
Action: Perform the desired behavior.
Reward: Give yourself a small reward for completing the desired behavior.
Record: Keep track of your progress by recording when you complete the desired behavior.

This process helps to create a positive feedback loop that makes it more likely that the desired behavior will be repeated in the future. By tracking progress and rewarding oneself, the individual is more likely to stick to the habit and make it a regular part of their routine.

MG: Where did you get Prompt? My understanding is that PARR stands for PLAN, ACT RECORD & REASSESS

GPT: I apologize for the confusion, you are correct that P.A.R.R. stands for “PLAN, ACT, RECORD, REASSESS” in the book “The Habit Factor”.

PLAN: set a clear, specific, and measurable goal.
ACT: take immediate action towards the goal
RECORD: track progress and document the outcome.
REASSESS: evaluate progress and adjust the plan as needed.

The process emphasizes on setting clear goals, taking action, tracking progress, and re-evaluating the plan regularly to make necessary adjustments and achieve the desired outcome.

MG: I thought PARR was more about the Habit development process NOT the goal itself. habits are a means to the end. the END is the goal the means are habit, correct?

GPT: You are correct that habits are a means to an end, and the end is the goal. The P.A.R.R. process that is described in “The Habit Factor” is specifically focused on creating new habits as a means to achieve a goal. The process is a simple, four-step process for creating new habits:

PLAN: set a clear, specific, and measurable goal.
ACT: take immediate action towards the goal
RECORD: track progress and document the outcome.
REASSESS: evaluate progress and adjust the plan as needed.

The process emphasizes on setting clear goals, taking action, tracking progress, and re-evaluating the plan regularly to make necessary adjustments and achieve the desired outcome. The goal is the outcome that you want to achieve. Habits are the means to achieve that outcome. The P.A.R.R. process is a way to create the habits that will help you reach your goal, by breaking down the goal into manageable steps, and making sure that you are consistently working towards that goal.

MG: The tracking and plan and recording and reassessment is about the HABITS not the goal. PARR is about tracking habits in order to develop them.

GPT: I apologize for any confusion, you are correct that P.A.R.R. is a framework for tracking and developing habits, not the goal itself. The P.A.R.R. process does not focus on the goal directly, but rather on the specific actions that will become habits in order to achieve that goal.

PLAN: Identify the specific action that will become a habit
ACT: Perform the desired behavior
RECORD: Keep track of your progress by recording when you complete the desired behavior.
REASSESS: Evaluate progress, make adjustments, and refine the habit.

The P.A.R.R process is a structure that helps to create a positive feedback loop that makes it more likely that the desired behavior will be repeated in the future. By tracking progress and making regular adjustments, the individual is more likely to stick to the habit and make it a regular part of their routine. And as a result, achieving the goal that the habit is designed to achieve.

MG: excellent. thank you

GPT; You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help clarify. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.

[I’m having so much fun, I decide to change it up and see what “she” knows about the relationship between DISCIPLINE and HABIT.]

MG: Is it safe to say that discipline is a habit

GPT: Discipline can be seen as a habit in the sense that it is a behavior that is performed consistently and regularly. Discipline is often defined as the practice of training oneself to do something in a consistent manner, which is similar to the concept of habit formation.

In order to develop discipline, one must first identify a specific behavior or action that they want to consistently perform, and then take consistent actions towards that goal, tracking progress and making adjustments as needed. This process is similar to the P.A.R.R. process for habit formation.

However, discipline is also a broader concept that can include a variety of different behaviors, such as self-control, focus, and commitment, which are not just one habit, but a set of habits that work together to achieve a goal. Therefore, discipline can be seen as a collection of good habits that work together to achieve a goal.

MG: I like that and yet it is clear that nobody is born with discipline so it is learned and acquired through practice, right

GPT: Yes, it is clear that discipline is not something that is innate, but rather something that is learned and acquired through practice. Discipline is a behavior that is developed over time through consistent and regular practice.

The ability to stick to a task, to resist temptations, to delay gratification, to be consistent and to not procrastinate are all learned behaviors that can be developed and improved over time.

Discipline is something that can be developed through the formation of good habits, which are formed by consistently performing a desired behavior in response to a specific prompt or cue. The P.A.R.R. process is an effective way to develop new habits, and thus discipline, by consistently performing a desired behavior, tracking progress and making adjustments as needed.

It’s important to keep in mind that discipline, like any other skill, requires practice, consistency and patience. It takes time and effort to develop discipline and it will not happen overnight. But with consistent practice and perseverance, anyone can develop discipline and improve their ability to achieve their goals.

[Because “she” brings up SKILL, i cannot resist. We must go there.]

MG: That leads me to precisely my next point. If discipline is a practice and skills require practice and HABITS require practice… seems to me that PARR is very helpful to develop both skills and habits and, in short, habits and skills can be acquired the same way, through intentional practice, right?

GPT: Yes, you are correct that discipline, skills, and habits all require practice to be developed and improved. The P.A.R.R. process can be used as a framework to develop both skills and habits, as it emphasizes the importance of setting specific, measurable goals, taking consistent action towards those goals, tracking progress, and making regular adjustments.

Habits and skills are often closely related, as developing a new habit can often lead to the development of a new skill. For example, if one wants to develop the skill of playing a musical instrument, they would need to practice consistently as a habit in order to improve their skill.

Habits and skills also share the characteristic of being developed through repetition and consistent practice, which is one of the key elements of the P.A.R.R process. By consistently performing a desired behavior, tracking progress and making adjustments as needed, individuals can develop both habits and skills.

In summary, P.A.R.R process can be a helpful framework for developing both habits and skills, as it emphasizes on consistent practice, tracking progress, and making adjustments. Both habits and skills require consistent practice and repetition in order to be developed, and P.A.R.R provides a structure to do that.

MG: WOW!! Thank you again, this has been enlightening! ; )

GPT: You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help. Developing discipline, skills, and habits are important aspects in achieving personal and professional goals. Understanding the process of habit formation and the importance of consistent practice, tracking progress, and making adjustments can help individuals to achieve their goals. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

Deconstructing Cue-Routine-Reward and the Habit Loop

Character, goals, habits, Habituation, learning, P.A.R.R. Methodology, PARR Methodology

[By: Martin Grunburg]

Chances are you’ve heard a bunch about habit these days, and for good reason. Habit matters a lot.

Habit not only constitutes our character; it turns out that it is also the most efficient pathway to achieve our goals.

The “funny” thing is there is a very substantial amount of misinformation — or, to put it better, misguided information — on the internet about habit and HOW we can intentionally develop good favorable habits.

At the very top of the misguided/misinformation list is something known as Cue-Routine-Reward.

What CRR Is and Why It Really Doesn’t Matter Too Much

Cue-Routine-Reward is also known as the “habit loop,” and has its origins dating way back to famed psychologist Skinner in 1948, but more recently, in 2012 (a couple years after The Habit Factor was published), a book titled The Power of Habit popularized CRR. (Medium.com post)

Unfortunately, what has followed since are countless blog posts regurgitating much of the same information about habit development. The problem is this idea is misplaced and greatly overvalued when it comes to HUMANS.

So let’s (one more time) attempt to deconstruct Cue-Routine-Reward.

First, You Are Not a Rat or a Mouse

CRR originated from studies related to mice and/or rats in a maze. Yes, you read that correctly. The mouse had stimulus/input (the maze), which was its Cue; then the mouse set about running through the maze, the “Routine“; and finally, the mouse would find the cheese or chocolate, (yay!) the Reward.

Each successive time the rodent ran the maze a bit more quickly, the habit strength developed, and before long, the mouse would fly through the maze to get the cheese!

Success, right?

Not So Fast…

As a methodology for humans, you possess (for starters) at least one, essential and unique power the rat (likely ; ) doesn’t have: self-awareness.

When it comes to habit development for humans, it turns out that self-awareness in the form of both intention and reflection is remarkably powerful.

Therefore, the very best way to intentionally craft good, supportive habits is to begin with (you guessed it) awareness! (Example: What habit would I like to develop?) And, second, applying your intention in the form of a plan.

In the world of The Habit Factor®, the way to develop a favorable habit is simply to follow PARR,which stands for Plan, Act, Record (tracking and notes), and Reassess (after a period of four weeks).

Your Plan may or may not utilize “triggers” or cues, since the Plan itself may be its own trigger (more on that another day). But most importantly, your Planmust have these two criteria: What is the frequency per week you desire to perform the behavior? Identifying this creates what are called “Target Days.”Secondly, onthose target days, what will be the behavior’s Minimum Success Criteria? That is, how much time will you spend (or what is the repetition quantity) performing the behavior to make it a success on your Target Day?

For Example:

If my goal is to become stronger and more fit, let’s say the habit I choose to develop is the “Burpee habit.” The two key questions I must address are: What is the frequency per week I wish to perform this behavior? Second, upon each execution of the behavior, how many will I do? Ten? 25? More?

The idea is to set the minimum threshold low — typically very low upon starting. So, if I’ve never done a Burpee in my life and I’m not very fit, I might set the Minimum Success Criteria to just 10 Burpees on my Target Days (let’s say Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays). Thus, I will set my Frequency Per Week to 3 times, and the Minimum Success Criteria will be 10.

These are essential components in our Plan because we then are going to Record our behaviors after we Act, comparing our targets against what we actually setup as a target. Thus, Recording is the third essential part of PARR and how to intentionally (you are not a rat) craft good, positive habits that are aligned with your goals.

The final component is Reassess. After a period of tracking for 4 weeks against your “Targets” you are ready to take on the challenge once again for another 4 weeks. If you were 85% or better for the prior tracking period, you are encouraged to raise the bar, possibly increasing both the Frequency per Week and/or the Minimum Success Criteria.

So, for example, the next 4 weeks you might still keep your Target Days to just 3, M,W,F but you are going to want to increase the Minimum Success Criteria to 15 or perhaps 20 reps to consider it a “success” for that target day.

That’s right: You can and should align your habits to your goals.

Think about it this way: How many creatures (other than humans) can intentionally develop habits?

Correct. NONE.

Humans are the only creature that has this magical capacity, using their awareness — in the form of intention and reflection — to intentionally develop habits in accordance and in alignment with their goals and ideals.

This, my friends, is the definition of extraordinary!

Animals, on the other hand — rats and mice and bears and tigers and fish and birds — are driven by their instincts. Instinct operates very much like habit and even reside in the same area of the brain. The KEY difference for humans, though, is that we have the unique capacity to augment our inborn instincts (to survive and procreate) with intentionally learned skills and habits!

The fish or rat isn’t likely going to learn to tie their shoes or brush their teeth anytime soon. The bear may learn to dance, but that’s not gonna happen on his own accord.

Which brings up another excellent point…

It helps to think of Skill Development When You Want to Develop a Habit

Skill and habit, as they relate to the human brain, are so remarkably similar that experts in the related fields cannot articulate the difference. My thought is they should probably stop trying. Habit and skill are fraternal twins! They are nearly identical and the difference may in fact be merely a semantic one. For instance, the skill of playing the piano for the expert is also a habit. The skill of walking on a slackline or surfing is also a habit. The skill of riding a bike is also a habit.

Recall one definition of habit: “Done with little or no conscious thought.”

How Long Will It Take Me to Develop My New Habit Following PARR?

The answer is (drum roll please . . .)

It doesn’t matter.

Truly. It doesn’t matter. If you have the intention, you have the time — unless, of course, you are planning on being dead. The truth of the matter is that some habits may forge themselves inside of two months and others may take upwards of 8 months. The variation is due in large part to the determination/desire of the individual and, of course, the difficulty.

The beauty is after a month or two, or three, by following PARR and tracking, you will know when “The Habit Factor” has kicked in; you will no longer need to follow PARR — automaticity has taken over and you are performing the habit with little or no conscious thought!

What to Do Next

So, you want to get after it and test it out for yourself, right? Great! Time to take action to apply PARR to develop your next new habit. All you have to do is download the free habit tracking template here or simply text the word “Habits” to 33444. If you prefer you can use the free iOS or Android apps.

You are not a rat!

~mg

3 Things You Should Know About VIRTUE — Before It’s Too Late!

Character, discipline, goals, habits, Habituation, Success

[By: Martin Grunburg]

In theory, there may be no better “cause” than the development of one’s virtue. Having said that, there is a fair degree of uncertainty about exactly what virtue is, why it’s important, and perhaps most importantly, the process by which to cultivate it. Add to that news stories and repeated scandals related to the Catholic church and other religious groups, and the idea of virtue may be somewhat tainted.

What Virtue Is Not

To become virtuous does not mean your intention is to become better than others. Rather, it means you’re attempting (key word denoting effort) to become better than you used to be.

Wayne Dyer used to put it this way: “True nobility (virtue) isn’t about being better than others; it’s about being better than you were before.”

Now, I fully recognize there is popular psychology out there that wants you to believe you are just perfect — exactly as you are.

I’m nearly certain YOU are not the little snowflake they believe you to be. So, allow me to help you with that:

You are indeed just perfect AND you need a lot of work. We all do.

Both you and I and everyone else has plenty of “sweeping” we can do “at our own front door” — beginning with our character.

Now, if for some reason that is offensive to you and you don’t want to think of cultivating your virtue in terms of improving your character, how about considering these 4 major dimensions related to one’s well-being: Mind, Body, Spirit, Social.

Can you tell me (or, better yet, yourself) that you are a 10 (on a scale of 1-10) in each of those categories? If the answer is a resounding yes, than I guess you are perfect. Chances are good, though, that there are NO tens on your scorecard, and that is a GOOD thing. There are plenty of things to work on and improve— hence, the cultivation of your virtue!

Why Develop Virtue?

In short, it’s great for you and arguably the very best gift you can give your loved ones!

There’s a lot of talk these days about Stoicism, largely because of this guy, Ryan Holiday (stoicism post).

A recent article explains what the Stoics viewed as the “highest good,” a Latin phrase, “Summum Bonum.”

These were the highest virtues for the Stoics: Wisdom, Temperance, Justice & Courage. (See the Great Ted-Ed.com video below!)

Ultimately, like Zeno (above video), we come to realize that the refinement of our character is the highest good and might well be the very best gift we can give our loved ones. Not money. Not knowledge. Not a new car. Not a trip around the world… just your very best self.

The Path To Virtue

And we arrive at the kicker…the coup de gras…the pièce de résistance.

Brace yourself.

The path to virtue is habit. (You probably saw that coming ; )

Don’t take it from me, though; here’s what Aristotle had to say in Nicomachean Ethics:

“We become builders building, we become harpists by playing the harp. Therefore we become just by doing just actions, temperate by doing temperate actions, brave by doing brave actions . . . Virtue, then, is a habit or trained faculty of choice.”

The fascinating thing about virtue is, it does not exist without habit.

In other words, if Jim Bob is known for possessing the honesty virtue, it’s because he habitually acts honestly.

What We Ultimately Learn About Virtue

It’s the very same lesson that Benjamin Franklin (of course!) figured out centuries ago. What did he NOT do?

As a young man, Ben found many flaws in his character. So he began a practice to track 13 virtues he hoped to develop. Each he identified as a weakness that needed improvement, and in so doing, his character and (he reasoned) his life would improve.

How did it go for little Benji?

Well, while we could simply say, “The rest is history,” I’ll let him take it from here. The following is a direct statement about his practice of intentionally crafting his virtues as he wrote in his autobiography:

“I hope, therefore, that my descendants shall follow this example [tracking his virtues] and reap the benefits.”

Please allow that statement to sink in.

Perhaps the most accomplished man ever to have lived cites the tracking of his virtues (habits) as the most rewarding experience of his life. Not inventing bifocals, nor the lightning rod, or his other accomplishments. Not becoming the first U.S. Post Master General. Not drafting the Declaration of Independence.

It was tracking his habits.

“Character is long-standing habit.” ~Plutarch

Until next time, as always, thanks for reading and sharing.

~mg

References:

Aristotle: Nicomachean Ethics
http://web.mnstate.edu/gracyk/courses/web%20publishing/AristotleVirtueAsMean.htm

Lecture 9: Virtue and Habit 1
https://oyc.yale.edu/philosophy/phil-181/lecture-9

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4434789/

What Really Binds Us?

Character, creative theory, discipline, Focus, goal theory, Habit Alignment, habits, HabitStregth™, Habituation, Happiness, Health, learning, P.A.R.R. Methodology

{By: Martin Grunburg]

The other morning, after I barely managed to keep my Burpee streak alive (40 days strong, podcast episode: Anyone Can Do It!), I took our dog Roxy to the park.

Sent via The Habit Factor® app (iOS & Android)

The local park is about a block away. We do this pretty much every morning, Roxy and I. But these days she’s not playing as much Frisbee as she used to. (Podcast Episode: The End)

Actually, these days, we’ll just walk down toward the sailboats near the bay and take in the sun for 10 or 15 minutes.

As I sat down near the water fountain and sailboats, a light breeze blowing over the bay, I noticed a clamp on the sand, like a hiker’s shackle.

The many parks around Mission Bay and San Diego, in general, tend to become a hub for transients — the homeless — many of whom have substance abuse problems, unfortunately. As I looked at this shackle, I thought how it was almost certainly the type of tool one of the transients might accidentally have left behind.

I didn’t give the shackle much further thought, other than saying to myself something I’ve often said — that if I were in their shoes I’d live here too.

As I sat there, I began to ponder our upcoming Habits 2 Goals podcast episode, an “FAF” (Frequently asked Friday). The question du jour was scheduled to be, “What Binds Us?” Or, “What Binds You?”

Ponder That For A Moment

When you think of what it is that really holds you back, what is your first thought? What answer or excuse do you naturally come up with?

Money? Influential contacts? No lucky breaks? Not disciplined enough?

What keeps YOU from (to sound totally clichéd) getting to that next level?

For instance, if you aspire to be at “Y” in terms of profession or income and you are at “X,” how will you elevate your game? How will you change your results?

In fact, how can ANYONE break free? What is holding any of US back?

The more I pondered that question, sitting there overlooking the sailboats on the bay, I ran through all the same, typical excuses.

In fact, I ran though the common, broader comment I will often hear. “It’s me. I am holding myself back.”

While that is the beginning of a really good answer, we can make a far more powerful and subtle distinction.

The more I pondered the idea of “I,” as in, “I am holding myself back,” the answer became inescapable. The awareness was as glaring as the morning sun: There is no “I.”

“We” don’t hold ourselves back. “We” are just a compilation of our recurring thoughts and behaviors. Correct: OUR HABITS.

All “we” really are is our character, and our character is the sum total of all our thought and behavior HABITS to this moment.

To put it most simply: WE ARE OUR HABITS.

Therefore, if we’re trying to get to “Y” and we’re at “X,” there is a very good chance that those same thought habits and behavior habits that got us HERE won’t get us “THERE”

Who you and I are — WHO we have become right at this moment — is the result of ALL our thought and behavior habits to this moment. In fact, the Latin etymology of habit is HABIT•US, meaning “condition and/or character.”

We are the sum total of all our thought habits and our behavior habits.

Thus, the simple math looks something like this:

What truly binds us are our habits.

That binding sensation that we feel from one day to the next, that frustration as we aspire to new goals and ideals, is NOT “ourselves.” It IS the force of habit. And the beauty is this, my friend: That same force that binds you MUST be, and can be, the same force that sets YOU free.

And, that freedom comes only when we conscientiously and intentionally craft new habits that are aligned with our goals. #habitalignment

Yes. There’s an app for that.

Thus, one of my all-time favorite habit quotes by Ambrose Bierce: “Habit, n.: A shackle for the free.”
(see image above ; )

~mg

Intelligence (Part Deux)

creativity, goal theory, goals, habits

[By: Martin Grunburg]

We left the last post with the understanding that “real” intelligence is goal-directed behavior. We arrived at that conclusion simply by analyzing the definition of artificial intelligence, which happens to be . . . “goal-directed behavior”!

Thus, as we like to say here at The Habit Factor®, “In life, goals are not optional.”

Sure, you might go a month or perhaps even a few months — maybe even a few years — without real, substantial goals/aims or ideals for your life, but ultimately, if nothing else, your quality of life would suffer.

Or, we might view the pursuit, or absence thereof, of goals in life as Tony Robbins positions it. He likes to say, “Everyone has goals. Unfortunately, most of them are impotent goals.”

In other words, he suggests that if your goal is to “get through the day,” “get through the month,” “make it home by Monday Night Football,” “sneak out of work early,” etc., make no mistake, these are goals — and it could be argued, then, a sign of intelligence — but certainly not the type of goal-directed behavior that would inspire one to get out of bed in the morning!

Further, having inspiring, well-intentioned goals and ideals provides you with another magnificent consequence: HAPPINESS!

That’s right. Don’t take it from me, though; let’s hear what one of the most intelligent (interesting, isn’t it?) people ever to have lived has to say about the subject.

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal not a person or a thing.” – Albert Einstein

Let’s Button This All Up

If goal-directed behavior is intelligence at work . . .

AND

“Action is the real measure of intelligence,” as Napoleon Hill was fond of saying . . .

AND, “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal not a person or a thing,”

Then we can bring this full circle once more: “In life, goals are NOT optional.”

Yes, my friends, goals matter! (A lot!)

~mg

BTW: The next logical question is, “How can I go about setting goals the right way?” To that end, check out The Habit Factor® book (Kindle, reduced price). Another great starting point is the FREE Habit Building template. Or, for those of you who’d prefer to listen to the book, check out the Audible version. Go here for a FREE TRIAL and The Habit Factor® can be your first free book! Enjoy!

How Intelligent Are You? The One-Question IQ Test That Will Truly Prove Your Intelligence

Character, goal theory, goals, Habit Alignment, habits, learning, Success

[By: Martin Grunburg]

Intelligence.

What a concept!

Perhaps strange subject matter for a blog about HABITS and GOALS, right?

But maybe not.

In my interview that went live just last week with Alex Bates, pay particular attention to minute 15-16, where we have a discussion relative to defining artificial INTELLIGENCE.

——————–

Me: Is it [artificial intelligence] not the ability for the computer to learn and/or teach itself?

Alex: Learning is a key part of it, but even broader than that, potentially, you can have intelligent behavior that was pre-programmed. So, I think learning is fundamental but artificial intelligence is a system that — a lot of times they will include the term, “goal-directed behavior,” meaning it can accomplish goals, and sometimes there are challenges thrown its way, and sometimes it uses learning to accomplish those goals, and sometimes it doesn’t.

——————–

Brilliant.

Artificial intelligence is (equals) goal-directed behavior.

That’s worth repeating to yourself.

And, if that is true, my friend, what is intelligence?

Repeat: If artificial intelligence is goal-directed behavior, what is intelligence?

Correct: Intelligence must be goal-directed behavior. (Underscore and repeat to yourself.)

Don’t be Dumb!

I’m 50 years old and that was the first time I understood intelligence as “goal-directed behavior.”

A couple years ago, I tweeted to a fairly popular blogger (a self-described “neurotic Jew” — think Woody Allen-esque).

I enjoyed his writing and he was a pretty funny guy. But either for click-bait purposes or to stir some controversy, he tweeted something like, “self-help doesn’t work,” or “self-help is bogus.” Strange, because all he writes about is how personal development has helped him.

The tweet got to me (though I shouldn’t have taken the bait). My reply was swift: “Don’t be dumb!” Then I felt bad. I wanted to make sure I hadn’t offended him, so I followed up with, “I’m not saying you are dumb, I’m saying you should not be dumb.”

Don’t be dumb.

Not sure he grasped the distinction and pretty sure he then blocked me! ; )

So the reason I share that story is, I’m saying the same thing to you right now: “Don’t BE dumb.” I’m not saying you are dumb, I’m saying, please, “Just don’t be dumb!”

How Not To Be Dumb

Set goals. Have a positive, worthwhile goal/ideal that you are pursuing!

That’s it!

You either have goals identified and are working toward them (goal-directed behavior), or you don’t. One is dumb; the other is intelligence at work.

And, by the way, THAT (the work part) is very important!

Intelligence, according to the dictionary definition (below) is: “The ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.”

intelligence definition

I have underlined AND italicized for effect.

I’m sure we ALL know many “intelligent” people who are great at acquiring knowledge. Yet, according to this definition, they are not intelligent if they are not applying it.

Apparently Confucius use to say, “To know and not to do is not to know.”

So, truly, there is just one simple question — a ONE-QUESTION IQ test — to use on yourself, your loved ones and friends:

Are you pursing a worthwhile goal/ideal?

Great. Get after it!

~mg

(part II next week) as always, THANK YOU for reading, sharing and worth noting, pushing the Habits 2 Goals podcast into another record month (that’s two months back to back!)

How To Focus Better — ADD/ADHD: The FOCUS Problem & The FOCUS Solution

Focus, goals, habits

[By: Martin Grunburg]

“The successful man is the average man focused.” ~Bruce Lee

“Most ‘unsuccessful’ people are just highly-distracted people.” Anonymous

It’s important to first share that The Habit Factor wouldn’t exist without my own focus challenges. While I’ve never been officially diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, I’ve always struggled with focusing my attention and, therefore (by extension), goal achievement.

Hence, the birth of The Habit Factor!

“What?” You may be saying.

That’s right… and strangely enough there are still “coaches” who insist you should ignore your weaknesses.

The list is endless when it comes to expertise developed from the ashes of one’s weakness. Just off the top of my head, Jim Kwik is a great example. Due to a brain injury he struggled with memory and learning, so he developed a speed-reading, memory-improvement and brain-optimization program.

So, if FOCUS is your big challenge (and it won’t be getting any easier in this “age of distraction”), let me share a few quick tips that continue to help me, and while I’m at it, it occurs to me that you may want to sign up for the FREE Focus and Discipline Webinar (replay).

Focus Precept #1: You Are ENERGY

Here’s another quote for you: “A five-watt lightbulb can barely light up a closet, yet that same energy focused into a laser beam can cut through steel.” ~ Unknown

Energy can either be dispersed in a multitude of different directions at any moment or, it can be channeled and focused like a LASER BEAM.

Whether the above statement is even entirely accurate or not should be of little concern. The power that comes from focus (concentrated energy) is ENORMOUS.

Consider it this way: If you are energy and your goal (out there) is going to require energy to be achieved, then the consistent, recurring behaviors (habits) you develop via concentrated focus will be your key to goal achievement.

Keep this in mind too: Habit is the most efficient form of behavior energy.

As your energy is likely to wane throughout the day, be sure to select your high-energy periods (this is unique for each person, some prefer evenings vs. mornings, etc.) where long stretches of focus are required.

Focus Precept #2: Before Focus Comes CONCENTRATION

To concentrate means: “to gather or collect people or things together in numbers or in a mass.”

Think of concentration as a collection of energy — resources (time, energy), knowledge, etc. In order to focus, concentration must come FIRST. The gathering of YOUR ENTIRE BEING is real concentration.

Gather your SELF — your energy — in order to improve the quality of your focus.

Bring whole, concentrated and quality energy to any given moment you can focus best.

Good energy includes, of course, a good diet, exercise and quality sleep!

Focus Precept #3: Before Concentration comes SELECTION

There is a relentless battle “out there” for your attention so it’s your responsibility to be constantly vigilant and protect your focus by CHOOSING carefully.

The Focus and Performance funnel looks like this: Energy -> Decide/Selection -> Prepare/Concentrate -> Focus -> Perform. Note that focus is near the bottom of the funnel, meaning you have to get the first few things right in order to realize quality focus.

What have you decided to focus upon?

BTW: When you say “no” to unimportant things, by default you begin saying “yes” to the things that are important.

What is the outcome you desire?

Are you CLEAR on that outcome?

Clarity begets selection, which precedes concentration.

Focus Precept #4: The Speed of Focus is SLOW

“Muddied waters left to stand become clear.”

Slow down — or better yet, STOP!

The speed of FOCUS is SLOW and/or stopped. A frenzied pace equates to little if any concentration.

One of the quickest ways to focus is to STOP moving and just sit there.

Look at the image above and you can quickly see how the PRACTICE of meditating is a gathering of concentration of resources, which is required to focus well.

Focus Precept #5: Time Blocking

If energy is your number-one resource (and all those “things” that make up quality energy), then it stands to reason that TIME is number two. By allocating time periods and setting minimum focus periods a la the Pomodoro method (see PARR and minimum success criteria), you concentrate the TIME you do have.

A good quote to remember is this:

“You will never have enough time to do everything you want, but you will always have enough time to do the most important things! ~ Brian Tracy

And that idea, of course, brings you back to selection!

Focus Precept #6: Environmental Distractions and Controlling Your Environment

WHERE you attempt to focus matters.

Take a good look around your work environment to ensure it is conducive to concentration.

Are there any noises, distractions? Where is your phone? Are notifications turned off on all devices? Can people easily interrupt you?

Consider playing classical music and/or try Brain.fm.

Is the environment cluttered?

Focus Precept #7: Keep Flying the Plane! The Cost of Interruptions

Here’s the productivity analogy you’ll never forget: Each time you interrupt your focus:
“You just landed the plane, stupid!”

Before a plane takes off toward its destination (goal), there is a great gathering and concentration of resources: gas, pilots, crew, mechanics, etc.

Then the plane hits the runway and, after expending a bunch of energy to get off the ground, it is finally flying at full speed — cruising toward its goal, and then…

BAM!

You lose concentration for a moment. You begin to wonder what the weather is going to be like this weekend. Or, what the score is. Or if your social media post is getting any love. Or…pick your distraction.

The thinking became a bit too hard, so you needed a “quick break.”

YEP! YOU LANDED THE PLAN, STUPID!

Now, the COST to re-gather the resources, re-concentrate the effort — pick up the pieces and begin again is akin to landing the plane and then having to take off once again. It comes at a tremendous cost to your energy and time. Your flight is now delayed, significantly postponing your time of arrival.

Each distraction likely equals at least 10 minutes in lost productivity just getting back to where you left off. It is probably much more than that.

Now the interesting thing is, there are really only two types of interruptions: those WE create for ourselves and those that are put upon us.

It’s fairly safe to say that for those who struggle with focus and concentration, 99% of interruptions are self-induced!

That is, we check our cell phone for a text. We check Facebook for an update. We check Instagram, our stocks, the weather, surf update, the game score. (See this post: Your Life Is Slipping Away in 15-Minute Increments.)

Wrapping It All Up!

Next time you struggle with focus, run through these precepts as a checklist for yourself. AND in order to ensure that you don’t land the plane, put your phone on AIRPLANE MODE! We like to call it CONCENTRATION MODE!

Some FOCUS resources:

Podcast: Is My ADD Ruining Me?

Season III 04: With Henry J. Evans “How to Focus Better”

The Habit Factor Book * Habit Factor® Book (Amazon Kindle)

The Habit Factor app (iOS, Android)

Write Room

TRELLO!

Brain.Fm

Pandora (Classical music and Indian Classical for meditation)

The Worst Self-Help Clichés (My Top 5)

goals, habits, Success

[By: Martin Grunburg]

Well, here we go again! If you’re in the self-help/personal development industry long enough, you can’t escape the pain of hundreds, if not thousands, of well-meaning bloggers and “coaches” who are eager to pass along some inspiration in the form of a quick sound-bite. But chances are good they haven’t thought through these clichés too well themselves before regurgitating them.

So, for your entertainment, here are my Top Five Worst Self Help Clichés. (Counting down from least painful to most painful.)

#1) “You create your reality.”

The short answer is, NO you don’t. You do NOT create your reality. You are a co-creator. “Life” happens to us (accidents, earthquakes, recessions, environmental consequences), and then within that context we have the capacity to create our reality. The cliché that actually applies nicely here is that we can and should “control the controllables” (our thinking/mindset/attitude/speech/actions) within a world of chaos AND order.

#2) “You are where you are because that is exactly where you want to be.”

I used to fall for this one — thinking there is a level of truth to this because I could justify one particular circumstance or another. Then many years ago I read Zig Ziglar’s great work See You at the Top, which shared a story about him on a road trip. He ended up far off course in a town he definitely did NOT want to be in. He goes on to reveal that what threw him way off course was faulty instructions!

The truth is this applies everywhere, not just on a road trip gone awry. Poor guidance (instructions) is essentially the implementation of bad strategy… which often yields poor results. And, come to think of it, at least part of the reason I’m writing this post — the intent is to keep you from bad guidance and poor strategy as you set out to achieve your goals!

My personal experience (having had a great deal of frustration early on with goal achievement) is a perfect example of this. No matter how badly I wanted new and better results in my life, my strategy was poor. The guidance I was following was SMART goals. Devising a better strategy — ultimately, The Habit Factor — helped me to put my focus and attention upon developing the core, related habits that would help me reach my goals. This alone dramatically improved my results and ultimately those of tens of thousands (likely more) around the world!

So, as cute and seemingly innocuous as the sound bite is, “You are where you are because that is where you want to be,” unfortunately, it may actually be reaffirming a person’s poor self-image even though they are truly making a valid effort to BREAKTHROUGH!

Strategy matters (a lot). The Habit Factor (nearly 10 years later) has proven itself as a much more effective and efficient goal achievement methodology/strategy. Unfortunately, SMART goals (and many others) never even mentioned the importance of habit development and alignment.

#3) “You MUST follow your bliss and passion.”

Oh, if I had a nickel … “Just follow your bliss.”

I got it wrong in my podcast on the same topic when referencing Mike Rowe as the guy from CNN’s Dirty Jobs — apparently it’s on the Discovery Channel. Mike also has a great video (at bottom of this post) about how foolish it is to pass up an opportunity.

As a graduate (1990) with a degree in art, all I wanted to do was paint, sculpt or do graphic design for an advertising agency. My father’s advice at the time was painful. “You know, Mart, you’re pretty good with computers.” This was at a time when there was a growing groundswell of computer use — a veritable tsunami of personal computer sales was on the horizon — and computer stores were popping up everywhere.

He sent me an advertisement cut out of the paper: A computer superstore was coming to San Diego. “I think you should check this out.”

How insulting it was to one of the world’s next great artists! I thought, NO WAY — me? A computer sales guy?

Ultimately, he convinced me to just check it out. I did, and they hired me on the spot as their Macintosh Specialist (I was the only one). Within about 18 months, I’d go on to meet (at the store) my future partners/investors and we’d open a kids’ computer camp.

Now, had I been exclusive to the idea of following my passion and bliss — stubborn, set on driving my art — chances are good that The Habit Factor doesn’t exist, my kids’ computer camp didn’t exist, and (just realizing this now) my wife and kids aren’t in my life, as I met her via the kids’ computer camp (a story for another day).

Had I not participated in the groundswell of a booming PC industry and surfed the opportunity right under my feet, it’s hard to say what would have become of me. There is little doubt, though, that my life would be very different.

So, rather than follow your bliss and passion, I submit this advice instead: Create a path where your bliss and passions intersect with service and an opportunity to solve a problem.

Tied for #3: You are PERFECT just the way you are!

This is painful. Look, if every result in your life (health, happiness, peace of mind, mental well being, financial well being, social and spiritual well being) is at a 10 on a scale of 1-10, then absolutely YOU ARE PERFECT! No need to change.

From my experience — and I’ve both led and participated in dozens of personal development workshops —nobody has every dimension of their life completely dialed in. Nobody’s list has fully optimized 10s across the board, particularly at the same point in time for every dimension.

Does that mean you should beat yourself up? No! Be kind to yourself.

Recall, though, Socrates uttered this statement 2000+ years ago: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Think of it this way. If you are perfect, you are stagnating — not growing — actually dying.

However, if you are assessing your strengths and weaknesses and challenging yourself to BEcome better — developing new habits and skills as well as setting new goals for yourself — you are growing!

So, let’s restate it like this: “You are perfect and imperfect.” (All at the same time.)

#4) There are NO accidents

Much of this is actually covered in #1 above. But it’s painful nonetheless. Trust me when I tell you that NOBODY is telling the mother and father of the schoolgirl who was killed by a drunk driver in the middle of the day that there are no accidents. Again, chaos precedes order and order precedes chaos. Yin and yang. It’s BOTH. There are accidents and there is order.

#5) You must take massive action to achieve your goals!

Ouch!

This one is uber-painful because it originates from Tony Robbins, and taken within his context, he’s absolutely correct. He’s referring to the massive leap — for instance, the massive action might just be a decision. And, when it comes to decisions, his point is that a real decision exists when it is backed by action.

When he says “you must take massive action to achieve your goal,” he’s suggesting that you take that leap — send that email, call that girl, sign up for the marathon. Those are examples of massive action.

So, what’s the problem?

The problem is that bloggers worldwide and social media posters cling to the literal interpretation of this idea and regurgitate it!

They literally think you must take massive action. As in YOU MUST TAKE ONE BIG STEP to achieve a goal!

However, goal achievement is NOT as much about massive action as it is about small, consistent actions over time (habits!). Confucius says it best: “The man who moves mountains begins by carrying small stones.”

If my goal is to write a book, the way it is going to get done is by writing consistently, developing the writing habit. However, if I tried to write a book in ONE BIG MASSIVE ACTION (sitting), it would likely be a terribly unsuccessful endeavor, if not entirely unfruitful. However massive my action might be, the book isn’t going to be completed.

So what’s the harm in this advice?

Thinking you “MUST’ take “MASSIVE ACTION” to accomplish your goals is a) incorrect in the literal sense and b) actually frightens most people from even attempting to achieve a goal.

How Dichotomous Thinking Is Behind ALL the Pain

The fallacy isn’t so much with the well-meaning self-help advice. The problem is the dichotomous thinking these clichés engender and stem from. It doesn’t have to be ONE way OR the other. It doesn’t have to be either/or. We create our reality AND we don’t create our reality. It’s both.

You have to move fast AND slow. Be patient AND impatient. Take massive action AND small consistent actions over time, etc.

My biggest problem with these self-help clichés stems from people’s inability to appreciate and recognize duality, largely because we grow up in a dichotomous environment (Democrat OR Republican, right OR wrong, my way OR your way, fast OR slow).

Where is the AND?

Almost always, particularly in the self-help arena, the real solution lies among a subtle blend of BOTH.

I explore this concept in great depth in The Pressure Paradox as well as a number of different blog posts.

Til next time friends!

~mg

***

Check out these resources:

Habits2Goals Podcast: What Are the Worst Self-Help Clichés?

Mike Rowe: Don’t Pursue Your Passion, Chase Opportunity

The ONE Question You Should Ask Yourself Every Morning (Practice, Part 1)

creative theory, discipline, habits, P.A.R.R. Methodology, practicing, preparation, Success

[By: Martin Grunburg]

What will I practice today?

That’s it.

That’s the question.

Most of us never give the idea of PRACTICE too much thought. Certainly most of us don’t give it enough thought. Unfortunately, we aren’t practicing anything.

Another day gone and another 86,400 seconds lost.

What are you practicing today?

God knows it took me the better part of 45-plus years to better understand the importance of practicing, and I’m still studying the value and influence.

WHAT IS PRACTICE?

Let’s start with the basics:

Here’s the dictionary definition:

1. The actual application or use of an idea, belief, or method as opposed to theories about such application or use.
“The principles and practice of teaching.” Synonyms: application, exercise, use, operation, implementation, execution.
2. Repeated exercise in or performance of an activity or skill so as to acquire or maintain proficiency in it.
“It must have taken a lot of practice to become so fluent.”

Here’s the etymology:

c. 1400, “to do, act;” early 15c., “to follow or employ; to carry on a profession,” especially medicine, from Old French pratiser, practiser “to practice,” alteration of practiquer, from Medieval Latin practicare “to do, perform,” from Late Latin practicus “practical,” from Greek praktikos “practical”

early 15c., practise, “practical application,” originally especially of medicine but also alchemy, education, etc.; from Old French pratiser,

PRACTICE IS INPUT

Here are some elements to consider:

Practice is input and performance/results are output.
It is learning, as real learning is experiential — an active pursuit demanding knowledge be put into practice.
Learning without practice is just theory. See the dictionary definition above: “the actual application of an idea, belief or method “as opposed to theories about application or use.”

THE FAMILY TREE OF PERFORMANCE

Practice is the Great-Grandfather of Performance

Practice, it could be said, is the father of discipline, while discipline is the father of habit and skill.

One’s habits and skills (within any discipline) produce the output of performance and results.

The disciplined boxer becomes disciplined via practicing.

Similarly, the highly skilled boxer becomes so via the habits of discipline, sacrifice and hard work.

We ALL seem to get this when it comes to the professional boxer, swimmer, dancer, gymnast — the performers we admire.

But, for even the most seasoned professionals, the most time they actually spend performing might be five percent of their life.

Five percent!

The swimmer who wakes up at 5am knows exactly what she will be working on — what she is practicing that day.

The boxer can say the same.

What about you?

LIFE IS A PROFESSIONAL SPORT

So . . . start practicing!

Consider the phrase often used in reference to a doctor or professor: “Where is your practice?”

The other phrase we use in determining a specialty within the practice for a doctor might be, “What is your specific discipline?”

Through practice comes discipline.

Here are a few things YOU might consider practicing today.

Silence
Listening
Meditation
Breathing
Stretching
Reading
Writing
Editing
Guitar
Kindness
Compassion
Love
Piano
Chess
Gratitude
Sales Calls
Marketing
Advertising
Honesty

and then tomorrow and the following day.

So, what are you practicing today?

Have you set any intention to BEcome better — to improve in any particular discipline?

Great.

Now, it’s time to start practicing!

Until next week,

~mg

Next week we’ll focus on what practice is comprised of, that is, what you must bring to make your practice higher quality!

The Secret to Putting the “Self” into Self-Discipline

Diet, energy, goal theory, goals, habits, HabitStregth™, Health, responsibility

Self-discipline is strength.
Right thought is mastery.
Calmness is power.
~James Allen (As a Man Thinketh)

[By: Martin Grunburg]

Today we’re going to focus on the first sentence (above) from Allen’s magnificent work, As a Man Thinketh: “Self-discipline is strength.”

It may go without saying, but it’s worth reiterating: Self-discipline begins with SELF.

So, my question to you is, how do you regulate and modify your personal self-discipline? Or, better yet, do you?

When was the last time you tried to institute a new behavior/develop a new discipline, or add control and constraints to an existing behavior?

Were you successful?

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

A bit of background:

For the first 45-ish years of my life, it seemed I could eat whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I realized, though, about 18 months ago, this is no longer the case.

The new “reality” was very different.

I was at least 15 pounds heavier than I wanted to be. I wasn’t sleeping too well and felt fatigued and lethargic almost daily right around 2 or 3pm.

It’s Your DIET, Stupid!

The strange part to me was I had remained as active as ever, running, surfing and hitting the gym (nearly daily workouts). But it was fairly clear that I was only gaining weight and body fat.

I circled back to my local underwater dunk-tank body-fat tester and checked in at a fairly surprising 16.3% body fat!

Upwards of 16%. For some people that may seem low, and for others that may seem high. For me it was the highest I’d ever recorded. (I began recording out of curiosity right around the time of my second Ironman in 2006.)

I needed to reverse the current fat-gaining trend!

To Carb or Not to Carb, That Is the Question

Let me first say that changing my eating habits was far more difficult than I’d imagined.

The good news is I had at least a few tricks up my sleeve, and furthermore, I knew a thing or two about behavior/habit design. ; )

Hence, if the question was to “carb or not to carb,” the answer was/is a resounding “NO!”

Above all, limiting the carbs (and sugars) was my first order of business, since I knew I was still as active as ever.

Yet, as a lover of ALL things carb-related (chips, pasta, bread, etc.), constraining my carb consumption was not going to be easy.

ENTER: The Substitution Solution!

Habit is driven out by habit as a nail is driven out by a nail.

–>> Bagels in the morning? Nope…just boiled egg.

–>> Chips in the afternoon? Nope…just almonds or peanuts.

–>> Soda, Snapple, ANY beverage? Nope…water or soda water.

–>> Fish tacos or sandwiches at lunch? Nope… salads or a bread-modified sandwich.

–>> Alcohol? Enter constraints!!

Beer? No more than 2 (lite) beers at any day/time.

Bourbon/Whiskey? Just 2 or 3 times per week.

Diet vs. Lifestyle

Here’s the thing…

At the proverbial end of the day, the gold lies not in the changes themselves, but the ability to craft new behaviors and new habits at will. It’s not necessarily easy, but the good news is it gets easier, over time, because of the magical force of habit.

Hence, substituting those habits/behaviors you already have with new, favorable, predetermined choices — incredibly — becomes its own habit! And, that is what is powerful. That is what compounds.

As a result, today, some 18 months later, I habitually drink water with every meal and I habitually snack on nuts instead of chips. I habitually eat salads and make better lunch and dinner choices.

Keep this in mind: As great as diet plans like Medifast or Jenny Craig and many others are, realize that a major piece of their solution is simply to provide you a SUBSTITUTE — a replacement alternative for your eating HABITS.

Results

First of all, it’s important to point out (again) that this was not an overnight fix (“the man who moves mountains begins by carrying small stones” ~ Confucius), although you will notice when you look at the chart below, once I became aware and had a baseline, that is when the diet/habit experiments began.

Today’s Weight: 178.8 Down from 194.6 lbs = 16.1 lbs Lost

Today’s Body Fat: Approx 12.8% (Total guess ; ) See chart below! Was 13% back in May of 2018.

That’s right — with some basic awareness and simple dietary substitutions I was able to “turn-back” the clock an incredible 12 years! According to this chart, I’m basically the same weight in 2018 as 2006, but I have increased my lean muscle mass and decreased my body fat by nearly 2lbs.

12 years.

I keep coming back to Emerson’s great quote: “All life is an experiment and the more experiments you make the better.”

On a semi-related note: Either a gentle reminder or swift kick in the *ss? (you decide)…
We already have over 50 participants enrolled in the Get Unstuck Course — and it’s ONLY Free only until 11/16/18.

Until next week my friends…

~mg

Habits, Goals, My Summer Vacation & Lessons Learned

creativity, energy, goals, Habit Alignment, habits, meditation, Podcast, unstuck, zen

[By: Martin Grunburg]

Time to get back to some habits and goals!

It’s been a while — a long while — since my last blog post, and this is largely by design. That is, I didn’t want to begin writing again until, well, I wanted to.

The time has come.

The same can be said for the podcast, which we will light up in just a few weeks. (Season V kicks off on 11/5!)

In both cases the fire is back (along w/ the creativity) and the timing just “feels” right as we head into Q4 and then 2019!

That’s right, let me be the first to wish you a Happy New Year! ; )

Having said that, I want to keep this post relatively tight and light.

Lessons/great reminders from my summer vacation:

LIFE IS VERY SHORT.

Very, very, very short. Just found out yesterday that an old high school buddy, Mike, passed away, and re-reading his last Facebook Messenger message brought me to tears. The man had a heart of gold. The messages we exchanged included a quick note to him with a link to my interview with Hal Elrod, which discussed Hal’s own battle with cancer. I hoped he’d enjoy Hal’s story and be inspired — he told me he was and we then exchanged soccer stories about our daughters!
SKYDIVE TO LIVE!

Middle of Sept. we did a team-building event: a tandem skydive. This was an amazing experience. I was later asked, “What was it like to cheat death?” I think I just laughed it off, but as I contemplated that question later the reality struck me: “Nobody cheats death…but it sure seems so many of us are cheating life.”

Death ultimately gets ALL of us. I like to call it the “Big vacuum in the sky.” So, the question really becomes: What are we doing NOW, with the very limited time we have, to not cheat/sell short this great opportunity we’ve been presented? (Read: sense of urgency.)
EURO-ZONE:

We had a terrific family vacation at the end of July in Europe. The trip provided us the chance to visit my mother in her motherland, Sweden. (Our daughters are 15 and 17 at this point, which is hard to fathom!) The girls thought of it as a big Instagram post…they thoroughly enjoyed Copenhagen, Malmo and Paris. My wife and I hadn’t been back to Paris for almost 20 years! So, yes, she had a great time too!

; )
EURO-PLUS: SIDDHARTHA:

The Airbnb host in Malmo, Sweden, had this little gem of a story by the bedside. (I’ve read this a few times in the past, but it had been a while, like 20+ years). The difference in reading this book in your twenties and thirties and then in your — dare I say it — fifties is extra poignant. The story follows a young and brash Siddhartha through his early years up through his later years (50+!), and there is simply no other way to appreciate that story with a more “mature” perspective other than to read it then and now. Wow. Book Here!
YOUR REAL COMPETITION = YOUR POTENTIAL:

Workouts tend to provide fantastic insight into subtle “things,” like our own mindsets, habits, goals, limits, etc. The other day, I really just wanted to quit. I finished the workout and told myself — actually caught myself saying — “That’s good enough!” as I neared the gym exit. Then, for some reason, that simple statement echoed in my head. “Was it really good enough?'” How much was I selling myself short? I turned around walked back and talked myself into two more sets of pull ups (which resulted in the next awareness) . . .
PLAY “SMALL BALL” FOR THE WIN:

Whether it’s pull-ups or shuffleboard, the lesson that keeps hitting me in the head these days is playing small ball! Thinking/acting “small.” That’s right, small, which leads to BIG results/wins!

It was no small coincidence that later that same day, as the Yankees were losing a playoff game, the announcer kept reiterating this VERY same message as a Yankee player (no names) kept swinging for the fences. “He’s trying to do way too much here,” said the commentator. “He needs to do the little things…just put the bat on the ball, get on base.” Which then reminded me of Cal Ripkin Jr.’s great quote referencing his father at the Hall of Fame induction:

“My father always used to say, when you take care of all the little things you won’t have a big thing to worry about.” To underscore the message further, enter Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher:

“Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy.” Which is a nice segue to…
THE ONLY ZEN YOU FIND ON THE TOPS OF MOUNTAINS:

My daily meditation practice is up to 47 minutes per day. Yep, 47 minutes a day. It’s almost funny to me that I used to think about meditation in terms of “getting it done.” In other words, I’d try to be efficient. When I began mediating around 2001, the goal/target time was about 20 minutes. Then I felt I could cut down my time and have similar results, so it dropped to about 12 minutes. Approximately a year or so later I found I was all the way down to about just six minutes of meditation. It was long after that I found I was limiting my quiet time to 2 minutes!

Did it work? Incredibly, yes. Even a short period of meditation was beneficial, helping me become more grounded and clear, even in just two minutes. But I’d lost my way and understanding. Many of you reading this are probably thinking, “THERE IS NO WAY I HAVE 45+ minutes to sit and do nothing!”

I would challenge that statement/belief and simply ask you how much time you spend with TV and Internet each day? Which do you think offers a greater RoT (Return on Time)?
“Now, repeat after me: “Sitting peacefully doing nothing, Spring comes and the grass grows all by itself.“
FREE COURSE IS LIVE! “GET UNSTUCK”

We’ll close out this post with this, my friends: If you’re feeling STUCK or just want to get fired up about life again, we’ve just completed and published this FREE course (limited time). I’m confident this course will do wonders and kick you in the right place to help you GET UNSTUCK! So, if you are STUCK and your results aren’t what you’d like them to be, often it can be traced right back to your habitual thinking and behaviors. Yep, your HABITS.

Just know that going through this course will challenge your thinking about your thinking, yourself, your goals, your future.

That’s it for now!

~mg

What Is the Scientific Method—and Why Does It Matter?

The Scientific Method: Step by Step

Examples of the Scientific Method in Action

P.A.R.R. as the Scientific Method for Behavior Change

The Painful Irony: Behavioral Science Ignoring the Scientific Method

Old Science vs. New Science: The Evolution of Habit Formation

The Old Habit Development Model: Cue-Routine-Reward (“The Habit Loop”)

The Newer Model: P.A.R.R. (Plan, Act, Record, Reassess)

How P.A.R.R. Applies the Scientific Method to Habit Formation

Habits & Skills: The Fraternal Twins of Learning

Capacity, Not Skill, as the Core of Habit Formation

Three Essential Components for Habit Development

7 Benefits of Habit Tracking by following P.A.R.R., the Scientific Method for Intentional Habit Cultivation.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about P.A.R.R. and Habit Alignment

1. What makes P.A.R.R. different from the Habit Loop (Cue-Routine-Reward)?

2. Can P.A.R.R. help me break bad habits?

3. How long does it take for a habit to stick using P.A.R.R.?

4. Does habit tracking actually improve success rates?

Conclusion: Your Habits, Your Life

Start today. Plan, Act, Record, Reassess.

What CRR Is and Why It Really Doesn’t Matter Too Much

First, You Are Not a Rat or a Mouse

Not So Fast…

That’s right: You can and should align your habits to your goals.

It helps to think of Skill Development When You Want to Develop a Habit

How Long Will It Take Me to Develop My New Habit Following PARR?

What Virtue Is Not

Why Develop Virtue?

The Path To Virtue

What We Ultimately Learn About Virtue

Ponder That For A Moment

To put it most simply: WE ARE OUR HABITS.

We are the sum total of all our thought habits and our behavior habits.

Let’s Button This All Up

Don’t be Dumb!

How Not To Be Dumb

“The successful man is the average man focused.” ~Bruce Lee

“Most ‘unsuccessful’ people are just highly-distracted people.” Anonymous

Focus Precept #1: You Are ENERGY

Focus Precept #2: Before Focus Comes CONCENTRATION

Focus Precept #3: Before Concentration comes SELECTION

Focus Precept #4: The Speed of Focus is SLOW

Focus Precept #5: Time Blocking

Focus Precept #6: Environmental Distractions and Controlling Your Environment

Focus Precept #7: Keep Flying the Plane! The Cost of Interruptions

Wrapping It All Up!

Some FOCUS resources:

#1) “You create your reality.”

#2) “You are where you are because that is exactly where you want to be.”

#3) “You MUST follow your bliss and passion.”

Tied for #3: You are PERFECT just the way you are!

#4) There are NO accidents

#5) You must take massive action to achieve your goals!

How Dichotomous Thinking Is Behind ALL the Pain

WHAT IS PRACTICE?

PRACTICE IS INPUT

THE FAMILY TREE OF PERFORMANCE

LIFE IS A PROFESSIONAL SPORT

Self-discipline is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power. ~James Allen (As a Man Thinketh)

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

It’s Your DIET, Stupid!

To Carb or Not to Carb, That Is the Question

ENTER: The Substitution Solution!

Diet vs. Lifestyle

Results

LIFE IS VERY SHORT.

SKYDIVE TO LIVE!

EURO-ZONE:

EURO-PLUS: SIDDHARTHA:

YOUR REAL COMPETITION = YOUR POTENTIAL:

PLAY “SMALL BALL” FOR THE WIN:

THE ONLY ZEN YOU FIND ON THE TOPS OF MOUNTAINS:

FREE COURSE IS LIVE! “GET UNSTUCK”

The Secret to Putting the "Self" into Self-Discipline

Go Deep and Repeat: Why Learning Is a Repetitive Sport

Self-discipline is strength.
Right thought is mastery.
Calmness is power.
~James Allen (As a Man Thinketh)